Secrets
by Writing-Forever-A-Passion
Summary: The sudden and unexpected death of DJ Tanner has got everybody wondering. Different points of views, clues and facts left, leading up to the death of DJ Tanner. RATED M. R&R!
1. Prologue (Part 1)

_[EDITED] ;;  
_

_**WARNING: RATED M.**_

Hey all! How is everyone doing? So I know it's been a while since I've posted or updated on any of my stories here. But hey, here I am with a new story just for you all :) So, first things first, I must warn you, this story is going to be _a lot_, practically an emotional roller coaster. I've never written a story dealing with this particular issue or subject matter, so bare with me please. Some of you might not like this so I'm warning you now: **_if you don't like reading about sex or incest. Leave. Now. This is not the story for you._ **I love, love, love Full House! It's one of my favorite TV shows from the '90s, actually. I wrote this story, keeping in mind that these kinds of situations happen everyday, all the time. It's sad but true. Another warning: **_this might alter the way you watch the show after reading this, so if you want to keep the squeaky clean image of the Tanner family, then also leave. now._** And, oh yes, Jesse and Becky do not have the twins. They're married, yes. But no twins. Sorry! So without any further adieu, enjoy lovely readers... :)

* * *

_**SETTING:**_ _Church Chapel_

_**TIME:**_ _8:30am_

_**YEAR:**_ _1995_

_"Ladies and gentlemen: We meet here today to honor and pay tribute to the life of Donna Jo Tanner, and to express our love and admiration for her. It's only natural that we should be sad today, because in a practical sense, this young, beautiful soul is no longer a part of our lives."_

_"We have come together from different places, and we are all at different stages on our journey through life. Our paths are varied and we look at life in different ways. But there is one thing we all have in common, at one point or another, and to some degree or other, our lives have been touched by the life of Donna Jo Tanner."_

_"And so this morning, we've put aside our usual daily activities for a while, and gathered here to give expression to the thoughts and feelings that well up in us at this time of loss and also because in one-way or another, Donna Jo Tanner's death affects us all."_

_"Today is also a day for memories, today will be remembered for many reasons, but mainly I hope it will be remembered by you all; as a very special day, a special day in which you shared some time with others; in order to pay your last respects; and to say both mentally and physically; a sad and fond farewell to a wonderful young lady, whom we were all so very privileged to have known."_

_"Also to try to bring some comfort to those of her family and friends who are here and have been deeply hurt by her sudden death. I know that today is a sad day, but I hope at the end of this farewell ceremony for Donna Jo, that you will feel glad that you took the opportunity to do some of your grieving in the presence of others who have known and loved her."_

The Tanner family sits in the front row of the church, grief-stricken. Little Michelle sits closely to the left of her father as his arm is wrapped protectively around her small frame. She gazes up at her grieving father, no more than eight years of age, certainly too young to grasp the concept of death or that her elder sister's lifeless body lies in the redwood casket before her. She had heard of death many times whether it was at school, with her friends, or at home, mostly surrounding her mother.

She knew her mother had died and now DJ had died as well. It was as if the news hadn't really hit her yet. She knew her sister was gone, just like her mother, but it hadn't registered yet.

Seeing the pain and slight denial in her father's eyes pained her young heart, for she had never seen that look in his eye before.

As she leaned more into her father's embrace, she could feel his arm around her tighten, as if he was afraid to let her go.

Stephanie, sitting to the right of her father couldn't stop the rapid tears constantly flowing. She was sad and angry at the same time. The emotions building up inside just waiting to burst – but on the outside, all that came out were tears. She couldn't believe her big sister was gone…_forever_. The one she loved and looked up to. The one she used to bug all the time.

_Why did this have to happen? _She thought angrily_. Why to my sister? Why to DJ? Why did she do it? Didn't she care about me or Michelle or about what would happen to the rest of us when she decided to suddenly end her life? Why did she have to be so selfish!_

Stephanie didn't want to be so angry and resentful towards her deceased elder sister, but she couldn't help but feel like DJ had left her all alone to fend for herself.

And then it suddenly dawned on to Stephanie that she would no longer be able to spy on DJ or sneak into her secret hiding place and read her diary. She no longer had someone she could go and tell all her problems to. Sure she still had her father, Joey, and Uncle Jesse. But it never replaced the bonding of a sister ship that she and DJ had shared.

Stephanie's eyes were now red and puffy, due to all the excessive nonstop crying she had been doing since she found out about her elder sister's death.

Joey, sitting beside her to his left, pulled young Stephanie in and let her sob into his chest. He could careless that his suit and tie could possibly be ruined by the tear stricken girl beside him.

DJ's death came out a total left field and left Joey heartbroken and in complete disturbance over it. Over the years, DJ, Stephanie and Michelle became more to him than his best friend's kids. They had become like his family – the family he never had. So the death of DJ knocked him off his feet. He tried desperately to blink away the tears that began to form as he gently rubbed Stephanie's back as it moved up and down, due to her heavy breathing and sniveling. He felt terrible for Stephanie, she had been crying for days now nonstop. He didn't blame her at all. Joey did a side eye glance at his best friend; he could only imagine the pain and brokenness he was feeling.

Joey was determined that he would be there for his best friend in this dark time no matter what. He was going to be there. He was going to be there for not only him, but for Stephanie, Michelle _and_ Jesse.

Danny stared blankly at the sermon as he continued to speak positive and motivating words. Tears filled his tear stricken eyes. He couldn't believe where he was and what was happening at the moment. It was like an out of body experience. Or like a horrible, horrible nightmare and any moment he'd wake up and go kiss his eldest daughter good morning as usually did with his girls.

But it wasn't a dream – a nightmare maybe. But this nightmare was his new reality.

A life without DJ was an impossible task and Danny wasn't sure he could do it. He blinked and felt a tear escape. He didn't bother wiping it. He looked down and sees his youngest daughter's big blue eyes stare into his with the pure look of innocence. He tried to smile but it quickly fell short. He just leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He slightly turned his head to his left and seen his second eldest daughter in the arms of Joey grieve and whimper in his chest. He knew Stephanie had taken DJ's death especially hard. It broke his heart that he seen a look of pain in her eyes that should never be seen in a fifteen-year-old. It hurt because he knew it was nothing he could do about it, but clasps her close and be there for her whenever she needs him.

The Tanner family sat there, in complete sorrow and despair. All wishing this was some type of nightmare they'd all somehow awaken from – but sadly it wasn't and that realization only cut them each deeper to the core.

If only they could have their beautiful, bubbly and energetic Donna Jo back.


	2. Prologue (Part 2)

_"She was the best sister anyone could be lucky enough to have. She was smart, pretty and she was always there for me when I needed her the most. I still can't believe she's gone…" Stephanie spoke as her voice began to crack. "She was my sister and even though we fought sometimes, I still loved her." Stephanie burst into tears as a few family members came up and helped her down and back to her father._

_oOoOo  
_

_"What can I say about good old Deej? She was my best friend!" Kimmy said half-heartedly. "We've been best friends since preschool and for as long as I've known Deej, she's always had my back. I always knew I could trust her if no one else. She was loyal and trustworthy." Kimmy tried to hold back the tears, but it was no use at this point. "You know I remember this one time, it was my 13__th__ birthday and she had gone through so much trouble to throw it for me and invite all my friends. She was always thinking of others." Kimmy swallowed as more tears poured from her eyes. "I'll always love her and she will always be my best friend no matter what. I love you, Deej." Kimmy stepped down from the podium and as soon as she did she broke out into a fit of tears. _

_oOoOo  
_

_"She is an amazing daughter" Danny spoke into the mike shakily. "She reminded me a lot of her mother. She was honest and very mature for her age." Danny half smiled in a reminiscent manner. "I remember when she first got her driver's license. She was so eager and persistent. I was scared though. Not about the driving part, she was pro at it – but at the fact that I was losing my little girl. I felt that was one of the many steps to her becoming a young adult – which meant she would no longer be daddy's little girl." Tears were now almost blurring his vision, "I love her so much. My little Donna Jo…" Danny said looking down and out of nowhere, broke down into tears hysterically "My little girl!" he wailed as Joey and Becky helped him down from the podium and back to his seat. Stephanie hugged him tightly burying her face in his arm as he stroked her hair gently, letting his tears flow as well._

It was all too much for Jesse. He sat there and watched everyone mourn and rue in death of the young girl that was his niece – his young niece that he had abused for years and years. He stared at the picture they had of her, one was when she was about four or five and the other was more recent. Though she smiled brightly in the picture, he could see nothing but genuine sadness in her eyes.

The moments they had together, the look on her face – it all taunted Jesse as he sat there, staring at her picture. It started to become suffocating. He needed to get out. The room was beginning to feel like it was closing in on him. Jesse immediately sprung up from his seat and rushed out the church followed by mumbles in the crowd.

Once outside of the chapel, Jesse found a nearby bush and released all the contents within. His breathing heavy as he ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, letting the cool breeze hit the surface of his face. He realized being in there, with all those people, it was too overwhelming for his psyche at the moment. He closed his eyes again, but a memory of the last few times he seen DJ was brought forth. He gulped.

_DJ couldn't stop the wide grin from spreading across her face as he covered her mouth to withhold the scream she knew she was about to release. She couldn't believe it. She reread the block letters on the paper that resided in her hands, to make sure she hadn't read it wrong. Nope. It was real. She had gotten accepted into her dream school; Stanford! _

_She was going places and most importantly she was getting out of here. For the first time in her life, she was happy. DJ had it all planned out in her mind; after graduation she'd already have her things packed and an apartment she had been eyeing for months now was finally available. She had a side job that none of the Tanners knew about and was secretly saving up to afford to live in an apartment. She'd be eighteen in less than two months._

_Stars danced behind DJ's eyes as she thought about the future – her future without Uncle Jesse. She'd finally be free and out of his reach for good. DJ couldn't stop grinning as she thought about her life ahead. She would leave all this behind; the hurt, the pain, everything. When she would leave San Francisco, she'd be leaving behind the old DJ and her old life and starting a new one._

_DJ almost jumped out of her skin when she heard someone enter the kitchen, she quickly whipped around and much to her relief, it was just her younger sister._

_"Gee, Steph, give a girl a heart attack will ya?" DJ joked, attempting to cover up her current jumpy state._

_Stephanie shrugged and noticed something in her sister's hands. "What's that?" She asked, nodding to the envelope in her hands._

_DJ looked down and shook her head, "Nothing!"_

_Stephanie smiled mischievously. "It is so something! Let me see."_

_DJ moved the envelope away from Stephanie's reach. "No Steph, it's nothing. Leave it alone."_

_Stephanie crossed her arms. "If you don't let me see I'll tell dad that I caught you sneaking in yesterday night at two in the morning." _

_Though DJ loved her sister dearly, she could be a lot like Uncle Jesse – DJ felt nasty chills vibrate through her body just by the mention of his name. She sighed in defeat._

_"Fine, it's an acceptance letter from Stanford. I got in."_

_Stephanie's mouth formed a perfect "O". "Deej, that's great! Wait until everyone finds out!"_

_"Wait! No Steph, I-I don't want anyone to no yet" Mainly Jesse. "Don't tell anyone."_

_"Why not?"_

_DJ sighed in a frustrated manner. "Just promise me you won't Steph." She held out her pinky finger._

_Stephanie's face reflected confusion, but complied anyway. "Okay, okay. I pinky promise…"_

Jesse opened his eyes; he remembered how angry and happy he was for her. He was happy that his niece had gotten into such a good college, but angry because she'd be leaving him – off to live her own life. She thought leaving off to college; she'd be getting rid of him. _No way._ He remembered thinking. _She can never get rid of me, _and that's just what he told her.

_DJ finished buttoning up the last button on her pajamas, her hair damp. She was tempted to blow dry it but decided against it. As she slid in to her bed, shutting off the lights it was a few minutes of silence, that's until she heard her door creek open. She had hoped it was little Michelle coming to her room and telling her she had a bad dream and if it was okay to sleep with her tonight._

_But it wasn't. It was her worst nightmare._

_"Hey Deej," A voice said in the darkness._

_DJ could hardly see him, but she could make out his silhouette in the darkness of her room. "Uncle Jesse, w-what do you want?"_

_The light from the moon shined through cracks of her blinds which illuminated off of his face. He took a step closer to her bed as she scooted further back._

_"I heard you got accepted into Stanford... congrats."_

_"How do you –" DJ clenched her jaw, _Stephanie.

_"How do I know? Let's just say a big mouth birdie that goes by the name of Stephanie told me." He smirked and took another step closer until he was at the foot of her bed._

_"I'm happy for you DJ. I am. My niece getting accepted in Stanford. Who would have thought?" She could make out his wicked smile through the darkness, which sent chills down her spine. He continued in a low, yet calm voice. "But if you think that you can get rid of me that easily. You have another thing coming Donna Jo…"_

_The tone in his voice scared the living crap out of her. He walked around and was now on the side of her bed. She flinched as he moved a piece of unruly hair behind her ear. He leaned down to her eye level. "You will never be able to get rid of me, sweetheart. I will be with you wherever you go, no matter what. I will always be watching you." _

_DJ's heart thumped loudly against her chest as she felt like her breath was caught in her throat. _

_"I-I don't believe you."_

_He shook his head, "Tsk, tsk. Oh Deej, I was hoping you would. I wouldn't want to have to demonstrate my point to you in a harsh way. But it looks like I will have to." _

_His breath on her skin sent nasty chills down her spine. She believed him. He wasn't bluffing. As much as she wanted to call him bluff. She couldn't. His eyes gave away the look that he was everything but subterfuge. He smiled that same, infamous sinister smile before brushing his hand across her face and kissing her forehead and with that, he was gone in a blink of an eye._

_DJ felt tears prick at her eyes once he was gone. She wondered if she'd ever be ever to escape from her Uncle or would she spend the rest of her life in fear like she was now…_


	3. Prologue (Part 3)

"Jesse!" Jesse blinked as he turned around, following where the voice came from. It was Becky. He quickly wiped the existing tears that pricked at his eyes before she arrived.

"Jess, honey, are you okay? The way you stormed out of there…I was worried."

Jesse plastered the fakest smile he could muster at that moment. "I'm fine, Beck. I just…I needed some fresh air, that's all."

Becky's concerned eyes didn't leave her husband of four years. "Do you want me to stay out here with you?"

Jesse shook his head, giving a reassuring smile. "No, no. You go back in. I'll be fine. I just needed time to myself."

Becky nodded; her eyes still full of concern. She leaned in and gave a small peck to his lips. "Alright, but let me know if you need me, okay?"

Jesse nodded and watched as his wife reentered the chapel. He breathed out as he buried his face in his hands for a moment. His memories with DJ were taunting him. He briefly closed his eyes as he tiredly ran his fingers through his jet black hair, desperately trying to cease the feeling of guilt that burned so heavily inside.

_"You're a monster," _His conscious said._ "You killed her. You killed your own niece. How can you possibly live with yourself?"_

Jesse's head was spinning. He had to get away from here, from everybody. He looked up, something catching his eye.

_"You're a sick, twisted, deranged sorry excuse for a man." _Said his conscious as he made his way over to the small shop that read: '_Jason's Liquor'_

_"You deserve everything bad that comes your way…"_

_oOoOo  
_

"Where's Uncle Jesse Aunt Becky?" Stephanie asked as they made their way out of the chapel, finally recovering from her breakdown earlier.

Becky rubbed Stephanie's back lovingly as she looked around. "I don't know honey. He said he needed some fresh air. He might've taken a walk around the block."

"I'm worried about him, Aunt Becky. He didn't say a word throughout the whole ceremony. He's taking this really hard." Stephanie looked down, sadly.

"Oh Steph," Becky said, stroking a few stray hairs out of her face. "Uncle Jesse will be fine. He just…he needs some space. You know how you're Uncle is about showing his feelings to people – especially his family."

Stephanie nodded, this was true. Jesse was never the mushy gushy type. Though he had his moments, he in general was never like that.

"I just hope he's okay…"

"Me too, Steph" Becky sighed, a distant look in her eyes. "Me too…"


	4. Chapter 1

**_SETTING:_** _DJ's Bedroom_

**_YEAR:_** _1990_

**_TIME:_** _11:45pm_

_"Uncle Jesse, please – stop. Not tonight..." DJ pleaded as tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. She didn't know why she still pleaded for him to stop. He never would._

_"Shhh," He whispered, climbing on top of her with a sinister grin plastered upon his dark features. "We wouldn't want to wake little Michelle or Stephanie now would we?"_

_Hot tears already began pouring down the pasty white cheeks of Donna Jo Tanner, everyone referred to her as DJ except the man that lied on top of her, slowly undressing her. That man was also known as Jesse Katsopolis – her uncle._

_This had been going on for years now – since she was eleven years old to be exact. And no one knew of this. Not her dad, not Joey and certainly not Becky – Jesse's fiancee._

_DJ's body had become completely numb to her Uncle's touch. She remembered the first time he forced himself upon her. She remembered it like it happened yesterday..._

_It had been a not so regular day at the Tanner household. It was a hot, summer day in San Francisco. It had been said on the news that San Francisco had been experiencing an extreme heat wave ranging from 98 degrees to 110. That kind of heat wave had not been experienced in California since the early '70s and had encouraged everyone to stay hydrated and recommended if you had an air condition to stay inside with it blowing all day, nonstop. _

_This particular day, Danny was needed at the station to keep San Francisco updated on the severely hot weather. Joey took Michelle and Stephanie to the local pool where all the young kids in the neighborhood would go. _

_DJ was at a pool party with Kimmy. A girl from their school – Kathy Santoni had thrown a pool party for all the popular junior high kids to attend._

_The day was winding down, but the weather still remained humid and didn't seem it would change anytime soon. DJ remembered calling her Uncle to pick her and Kimmy up because Kimmy's mother dropped them both off on her way to work. _

_DJ remembered the exact bathing suit she had on. It was a hot pink two piece that had ruffles at the end. It was super cute, she and Kimmy had gone shopping the day before and Kimmy had picked it out for DJ, saying it suited her well. DJ had to give Kimmy the credit for this one; she certainly didn't go unnoticed at the party._

_"You had fun, huh?" She remembered Jesse asking, standing in the doorway of her and Stephanie's room with a lopsided grin on his face._

_DJ looked up from lying on her bed, her bathing suit still on. "Yeah, we had a blast Uncle Jesse." She smiled brightly, looking back down at her Teen Beat magazine._

_Jesse walked in, hands in pockets and sat down on her bed where DJ was lying on her stomach. She remembered him placing his hand on her lower back. The feeling of his cold hand on her bare skin sent chills down her spine._

_"Did you talk to any boys there, Deej?" He asked, his eyes burning into the back of her head._

_DJ began to feel slightly uncomfortable. "Um, only a few I guess..." She gulped._

_Jesse clenched his jaw at the thought of DJ, hugged up with some random boy touching all over her._

_"Did they try and get you to have sex with them?" _

_DJ turned and looked at him, startled and angry. "What, no of course not Uncle Jesse! Why would you ask me something like that?"_

_"You don't understand how young boys at you're age are thinking, Deej. They all only want one thing from a girl and once they get it, they will throw you away and forget about you like you were yesterday's news."_

_Jesse went on, "I care about you Deej, I wouldn't want you to go out and do something you'll regret just because you wanted to fit in."_

_"I'm not that kind of girl, Uncle Jesse." DJ was now uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going. Sex was an awkward thing for DJ and it was extremely weird talking about it with Uncle Jesse._

_"Good," Jesse said, brushing his hand against the side of her face, his hand lingering on her face and shoulder longer than it should have. "You want your first time to be special, not something you're going to hate yourself for doing for the rest of your life…" Jesse's eyes gazing into hers. It was a look in his eyes that DJ, still to this day could not place. "You want it to be with someone you love, whom you trust and someone who knows you like the palm of their hand." Jesse was dangerously close to DJ as his hands ran up and down her bare legs._

_"Uncle Jessie…w-what are you doing?"_

_He moved a couple strands of hair that fell in her face behind her ear. "You're so beautiful…" He murmured. "You look just like your mother more and more every day."_

_"Uncle Jesse…" DJ started but was quickly cut off by a pair of lips, pressing hard against hers. She felt her heart beat loudly against her chest as she tried to pull away, but the grip he had on her was way too strong._

_"Uncle…Jesse…stop…p…please!"_

_He pulled her body onto his lap, pressing her exposed body against him. "Kiss me, DJ. Kiss me back now." He demanded in their kiss._

_DJ couldn't believe what was happening and who it was happening with. She tried her best to try and break free, her hands pounding against his chest. But he seemed not in the least bit moved by her fists colliding with his chest. All he did was grab ahold of her knuckles with his free hand and briefly pull away._

_"Stop fighting it, Donna Jo. This is how it's going to be. You're going to enjoy it. Got it?" Before she could even respond his lips crashed against hers roughly once again. He leaned her down on the bed and roughly removing every content of clothing she had on, which didn't take very long since she was in a swim suit._

_The hurt and pain she felt that day. She could never forget the feeling of the painful experience of her Uncle slowly taking away her most precious gift. With every thrust, moan and weep, she felt a little part of her die inside._

_DJ's tearful eyes blurred her vision as she felt him remove his body from hers. Her heart beating rapidly as he stood over her. She quickly grabbed the sheets from her bed, covering herself in shame. Even though it was dark in the room, she could almost see the twisted grin that rested on his features._

_"Please go…" She whimpered, sinking deeper into her covers._

_Without saying a word, Jesse slid on his trousers and t-shirt. He leaned down as DJ cowered away and grimace as his lips pressed against her forehead._

_"Goodnight Donna Jo. Sweet dreams…" were the last words his spoke to her that night._

_She turned to Stephanie's side of the room and seen she was sound asleep. DJ had only hoped that Uncle Jesse wouldn't start on her or Michelle. They were so young, so innocent. They didn't deserve it._

_DJ silently whimpered to herself as she slid out of the bed, hoping she wouldn't wake Stephanie. She quickly grabbed all her supplies and headed off to the bathroom, hoping to wash away the grimy feeling she felt on the inside and out._

_"Oh God, help me…" She remembered saying to herself as she soaked into her hot, bubble bath._

_The heat of the water hitting all the right places..., if only life could be this simple…_


	5. Chapter 2

_**SETTING:** Local Bar of San Francisco_

**_Time: _**_2:10am_

**_YEAR: _**_1995_

"Yo! Hey man it's two in the morning. I think you should call a cab –"

"I don't think it matters what you think I should do. You know nothing about me so buzz off buster!" Jesse spat at the bartender as he took another sloppy sip of his whiskey.

His hair all over the place and what was once his well-groomed tuxedo was now wrinkly and his undershirt no longer tucked in. He had been here for hours, drowning himself in alcohol hoping to get the memories and thoughts of his dead niece out of his psyche.

His was doing a good job so far. The more drinks he had chugged down, the more the thought of reality seemed almost like a dream.

"We're getting ready to close, sir, and if you don't leave we'll have to call security."

Jesse scoffed, "Go ahead, call security and see if I care." Jesse took another swig from the bottle that slipped from his hands as a big, muscular man lifted him up off his feet and to the front door of the bar.

"Get your hands off me!" Jesse stammered, struggling to free himself from the strong grip. "Let me go!"

The guy finally let him go once they had made it outside.

"Leave this property now or the police will get involved." The man said sternly.

Jesse scoffed again, "Whatever, man" and stumbled away into the darkness.

_"Hey Deej, are you feeling okay? You've been looking really tried lately." Danny observed from his eldest daughter as she made her way over to the kitchen table where little Michelle, him, and her father resided. _

_"I'm fine dad." DJ put on the best fake smile she could muster up at that moment. "I just stayed up a little last night studying."_

_"Or she could have been talking to her boy toy on the phone all night." Stephanie teased coming down the stairs and into the kitchen with a mock smile on her face. DJ rolled her eyes._

_"Shut it, Stephanie."_

_"Why should I? It's the truth isn't it?" Stephanie smirked. DJ's eyes never left the young girl as she continued to wear that mocking grin on her face as she made her way to her father and Uncle for a kiss goodbye as she headed off to school._

_DJ grimaced to herself as she watched her sister went to hug her Uncle._

_"Have a good day, Steph." Jesse said after kissing her temple and off Stephanie went._

_DJ broke the gaze between her and Jesse, grabbing her book bag. "I should get going too. Bye dad." DJ hurriedly left out the back door before anyone could respond._

_Danny sighed. "Guys, I'm worried about DJ. She really has been looking exhausted these past few days. I mean, if something was bothering her, she'd come and tell me…wouldn't she?"_

_"Of course!" Jesse was the first to say, throwing his hands up. "Daniel. You're worried about nothing. She's probably just going through growing pains right now. You know how girls are at that age." Jesse waved off at Danny._

_Danny nodded; a look of relief crossed his features. "You're probably right. I'm just overreacting as I always do." _

Jesse stumbled upon the streets of San Francisco, clearly intoxicated. The taunting memories slowly flooding back into his conscious. He looked up into the dark blue sky.

"I'm sorry!" He shouted, "What I did was wrong! She didn't deserve it! Please! Just stop!" He yelled, grabbing onto his head that was now spinning. He could make out someone's silhouette making their way towards him.

"Sir, are you okay?"

Before Jesse could respond, his eyes fluttered shut and a thump was heard and there Jesse lay, on the concrete ground – unconscious.

_"What was Stephanie talking about earlier, about you having a boyfriend?" Jesse demanded angrily as he stormed into DJ's room, not caring that she was in nothing but a bathrobe having just exited the shower._

_DJ gasped, clutching onto her towel. "Uncle Jesse! Cn't you knock? I was in the middle of getting dressed!" DJ snapped._

_Jesse scoffed, coming dangerously close to her, backing her up against her bathroom door. "It's not like I haven't seen what's hiding underneath this towel before, Donna Jo."_

_His words sent nasty chills down her back as his hand began caressing her wet open skin, goose bumps following his touch. "Now answer the question, are you seeing someone?" _

_"No!"_

_Jesse's hand found his way to DJ's neck, grasping it tightly. "You better not be lying to me Donna Jo."_

_DJ struggled against him as she desperately tried to break free from his strong grip around her now bruising neck. "U-Uncle Jesse," She gagged. "You're hurting me!"_

_Jesse stared into her eyes for a moment before letting go. DJ's hands landed on her neck as she hopelessly attempted to catch her breath._

_"Why are you doing this me, Uncle Jesse? What have I ever done to make you hate me so much?" DJ asked, finally catching her breath minutes later. Tears already filled her eyes as she, for a quick moment seen a shadow of guilt in his eyes._

_"I don't hate you, DJ." He whispered. _

_And for that brief moment, their eyes connected. They stayed there for moments, neither one breaking eye contact. DJ gulped as she, for moment actually seen her Uncle Jesse. Not this monster that possessed his body. _

_The sudden sound of DJ's voice had brought Jesse back to reality as he glared in her direction. He finally made his way to her bedroom door, before briefly turning around._

_"You better watch yourself, DJ. You never know who's watching you." And with those final words, he departed from her room._

_DJ stared at the door as tears filled her eyes once again. She felt like breaking down. She always felt like that whenever she was in the company of her Uncle. She ripped her towel off and hoped back in the shower as angry tears stream down her cheeks, scrubbing hardly around the areas in which her Uncle had touched her._

"Jess…Jess; oh thank goodness you're okay!" Becky hugged her husband tightly, but not too tightly. She didn't want to hurt him.

"B…Becky?" Jesse's groggily voice said in confusion, his eyes slowly adjusting to the light that shined brightly. "Where am I? What happened…?"

"Jess, someone found you passed out on the street. The doctors said it was because of stress and the intoxication of alcohol. Honey, why were you drinking? Why didn't you just come home and talk to me if you were feeling a certain way. I was worried sick."

Jesse closed his eyes briefly trying to adjust to the throbbing headache that felt as if a 400 pound gorilla had been pounding down on his head for hours.

Becky gently stroked his hair as she sighed. "Danny is on his way. Michelle and Stephanie were asleep and he didn't want to scare them so Joey stayed home just in case they woke up."

Jesse slowly nodded, "How long am I going to be here for?"

"Overnight. They said you were fine now, but wanted to be sure and run a few more tests on you."

"I'm sorry…" Jesse voice was hoarse now as he gently grabbed a hold of her hand.

Becky gave a lop sided smile as she gently kissed his hand. "You really scared me, tonight. I thought something really bad had happened to you. Please don't ever scare me like this again."

"I won't." Jesse responded and they soon heard a door open and there entered a concerned looking Danny.

"Jesse?"

"Come in." Jesse said, looking up.

"Jesse, are you okay? What the heck happened?"

"Let's just say I had a little _too_ much to drink."

"He passed out."

"WHAT!"

"He's fine now," Becky said. "But his doctor said he has to stay overnight to make sure he's well enough to go home."

"Jess, how could you let this happen? We already have a lot going on with…" Danny's face faltered for a moment as he struggled with his words. "The girls are shaken up enough and the last thing they need is their uncle acting irresponsible." Danny scolded.

"Danny you don't think I'm struggling with this myself? I'm hurting too. She was my niece for goodness sake!" He spat back.

It fell silent as the only sound to be heard was the beeping of his monitor. A moment later a nurse peaked her head in.

"Excuse me but, visiting hours are over."

Becky rose to her feet. "We were just leaving." She informed the nurse. She leaned down and gave Jesse a peck on the lips. "We'll be here tomorrow to pick you up, okay?"

Jesse's eyes finally tore away from Danny as he nodded with a lop sided grin on his face. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too Jess."

"Bye Jess." Danny said quickly as he hurried out the room. Becky blew a kiss goodbye to Jesse before departing from the room.

Jesse sighed deeply as he stared at the ceiling, thinking over what has happened the past few hours, the thought of DJ still manifesting itself in his conscious.

"I'm sorry, DJ. I'm sorry." He whispered out, his eyes now closed.

_"You're not sorry." _His conscious spoke_. "You deserve to be in this hospital room just like you deserve to be in that casket instead of her."_

Jesse grimaced.

_"You're going to get a lot worse coming to you than this. It's only a matter of time…"_


	6. Chapter 3

**_SETTING:_** _DJ &amp; Stephanie's Bedroom_

**_TIME:_** _3:03pm_

**_YEAR:_** _1993_

_"Hey Deej, what happened to your neck? It's has a pink and purplish color to it." Stephanie asked looking up from her homework as she had taken notice to her sister's constant rubbing and grimaces every time she touched anywhere near her neck._

_DJ stopped writing down whatever she was writing down and looked over at Stephanie, trying to play it off as best as she could._

_"Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine. I just had a little incident at school, that's all."_

_Stephanie frowned as she got up from lying down on her stomach on her bed and walked over to DJ. The bruise on her neck looked ten times worse than it did when she was lying on her bed. Stephanie gently stroked her fingers along the bruise and DJ flinched._

_"Maybe you should go to the doctor, get that checked out or something."_

_"No Steph. I told you I'm fine. Don't worry about it." DJ said suddenly getting defensive._

_"But DJ –"_

_"Stephanie! I'm fine!"_

_Stephanie threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine then, I was just trying to help." Stephanie walked back over to her bed and returned to her belly flop position._

_DJ felt guilty by the way she snapped at Stephanie. After all, she wasn't the one to put the massive bruise there and she genuinely was only trying to help. DJ sighed, nodding. "I know, I'm sorry Steph, I'm just irritable today."_

_Stephanie nodded, "Understandable I guess."_

_DJ turned to look over at her sister once more, "Steph?"_

_Stephanie looked up from her work. "Yeah Deej?"_

_"I love you."_

_Stephanie smiled, "I love you too, Deej."_

Stephanie Tanner awakened with a start, breathing heavy and heart pounding loudly against her chest. Her tear stained eyes peered around the room which was empty. It was a dream. DJ was really gone. Stephanie was now faced with reality – her new reality.

She sniffled as she rubbed her eyes and looked over at her clock which read: 7:20am. School started in forty minutes!

Stephanie quickly hoped out of her bed and began to get dressed, the thought of having to struggle to get into the bathroom with DJ never leaving her mind.

Stephanie applied light make up and slipped on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, not feeling the urge to even dress up. As she grimly made her way downstairs into the kitchen, she seen her dad at the kitchen table with a mug in his hand, probably filled with coffee. He had the morning newspaper in his hand, but if Stephanie was to be honest, he didn't look the least bit interested in what he was presumably reading. He immediately looked up at the sudden noise and seen his daughter coming down the stairs.

"Steph, you know you really don't have to go to school today if you don't want to." Danny said softly as he gently stroked Stephanie's cheek – his eyes staring down at her with worry and concern.

Stephanie shook her head, "It's okay dad. I want to go. It'll help me keep my mind off of…" Stephanie stammered, "…you know."

Danny grimaced and briefly closed his eyes. "Okay sweetheart." He leaned down and kissed Stephanie on the forehead. "Have a good day, but if anything goes wrong and if you don't feel okay at any point. Just call and I'll be there in a heartbeat."

Stephanie smiled halfheartedly. "Thanks dad. I'll see ya." Before Stephanie left, she turned to look at her father. "I love you, dad."

Danny smiled in awe as his hands rested in his pocket. "I love you too, Steph."

Danny watched his daughter depart from the kitchen and sighed deeply. Though he was putting on, what he hoped seemed like a bright smile. Danny couldn't help but feel the complete opposite on the inside. He felt as worse as he did at the funeral.

Danny emptied out his coffee mug and cleaned the dishes and looked up at the time which read: 7:55am. He didn't have to pick Jesse up until 10:00am. Danny yawned and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. He could use a nap. He didn't really have a good sleep the previous night given that he spent most of it tossing and turning, thinking of DJ.

He found himself awakening in the middle of the night, constantly checking on Stephanie and Michelle, making sure they were okay.

Danny tiredly made his way upstairs, passing DJ's room in the process. He stopped abruptly and stood there, staring at DJ's door for what seemed like forever. His feet feeling weighed down all of a sudden. He tentatively reached for the knob and slowly turned it as the door opened with a small creek. Danny gulped as the smell of lavender and vanilla filled his senses.

It smelt just like DJ. He slowly stepped inside and looked around. It was left the way DJ had left it before her passing. Danny made his way over to her bed, his hand stroking the texture of the comforter that lied on her bed.

He climbed on her bed and lay down on her pillow which also smelt like lavender and vanilla. Tears filled his eyes at that moment as he seen a picture of he and DJ only hugging and smiling. Danny slowly picked up the picture and stared at it.

Though a smile was plastered onto both of their faces, something was different about DJ's. It almost looked…strained.

Danny frowned at this. He tried thinking back to the day that picture was taken and what had gone on that maybe upset DJ before the picture was taken…

_Danny sighed happily as he observed his work. Today was one of his cleaning days and he cleaned throughout the kitchen, living room, basement and hallway. He had currently made his way up the stairs in the kitchen near the girl's room. He frowned when the sound of, what it seemed like, muffled crying filled the halls. Danny followed the sound quietly and it brought him in front of the door of his eldest daughter. Danny stood there for a minute before knocking lightly on the door._

_"DJ, honey, are you alright?"_

_He heard an abundance of sniffling and a shift in the bed._

_"Uh, yeah dad I'm fine." DJ replied back as nonchalant as possible._

_"Can I come in?" Danny asked, not believing his daughter's words._

_There was a pause before answering, then finally the door opened and then the red and puffy eyes of his eldest daughter stared up at him._

_"H-Hi, dad."_

_Danny immediately dropped the cleaning tools that were in his hand and stared down at DJ in concern as he stroked a few hairs away from her face. "DJ, sweetheart what's the matter? Your eyes…"_

_DJ flinched away from him. _

_"Dad, really, I'm fine. I just had a rough day at school, that's all."_

_Danny's worry for his daughter did not falter one bit. "Do you want to talk about it?"_

_"No thanks. I have to get back to my homework." DJ lied._

_As DJ went to shut her bedroom door, it was blocked by her father. _

_"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I promise I'll be all ears."_

_DJ sighed deeply, she really wanted to blurt out that it wasn't just a "rough day at school" it was more than that. For years it had been more than that. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs that she wasn't okay. That she was a broken soul and that every day, she felt like a part of her was dying on the inside._

_She was never going to be the same DJ she once was about seven years ago. Though she was thinking all of that, all that came out to her father was:_

_"That's okay dad. Really, I'll be fine. Don't worry."_

_Though DJ spoke those almost reassuring words to Danny, Danny didn't buy it. But he also seen she wasn't going to budge in telling him anything at that moment. He sighed in defeat as he pulled DJ in for a hug._

_"Okay, Deej. But I want you to know that whenever something's bothering you or you just need someone to talk to. I'm here, no matter what, okay?"_

_DJ forced a smile. "I will dad, thanks. I love you."_

_Danny briefly stroked the top and side of her hair. "I love you too, Deej." He kissed the top of her forehead and DJ watched as her father descended down the stairs._

_She closed her eyes, wishing she really could tell her dad or anyone what had been going on with her life for the past six years. But knew she couldn't. She bit her lip as she quietly shut her bedroom door and slid down with tears in her eyes._

_If only she had the powers of becoming someone else besides herself, anyone but herself, she would._

Jesse's eyes shot open as his breathing was beyond heavy. He peered around the hospital room and noticed it was a nurse to his left, with a clipboard in her hand.

"Oh good, your awake. I was just writing down a couple of things. But it looks like everything is fine. You will be free to leave whenever you're ready or the people that are coming to pick you up arrive." The nurse flashed him a polite smile before departing from the room.

Jesse leaned up from his bed, still having a slight headache, but not as horrific as the previous day.

His hair was clinging to his forehead which oozed of sweat. He once again, had not gotten a goodnight's rests. He kept waking up at different hours in the middle of the night, in between his peaceful sleep entered the eerie thoughts of his dead niece.

And for a moment, he thought he remembered seeing her, staring down at him by his bedside. It gave him goose bumps to the core.

Later in the night, he was finally able to drift to a somewhat, peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Jesse sighed heavily as he lied back down and thought over the argument he had with Danny. He really couldn't blame Danny for being so upset with him. If anything, Danny had more of a right to go out and get wasted. He had three kids, one of them passed away a mere seventy-two hours ago and a mere twenty-four hours ago just buried her. That was tough for any one person to handle, yet Danny so far was handling it pretty well considering.

Jesse couldn't get over how his young niece looked inside that casket. So out of place, she wasn't supposed to be in there. Not this early. She had only been seventeen years old, turning eighteen in just two months and graduating high school not too long after.

They had not yet clarified the cause of her death yet. And Jesse suspected that was part of the reason of the eerie feeling Jesse kept feeling every time he thought of her, or her name was brought up. It sent chills and goose bumps all over.

Before Jesse could stop it, he felt himself drifting off to sleep, but unfortunately, not into a dreamless dream...


	7. Chapter 4

First off, thanks so much to those of you who reviewed! They really mean a lot :-) And also, I understand this is a extremely dark piece to write about whether it's Full House or any other show and/or book. But this plot had been lingering in the story writing part of my brain for quite some time and so you know I had to do it. Like I said, this happens in real life every waking part of the day. It's a tough story to tell.

This story is _**Rated M**_ in case any of you didn't know already, so if you're not interested in this kind of stuff, well, like I said in the very beginning, _don't read._ It's only going to get worse the further this story goes on. Anyways, reviews are always appreciated! Also, the flashbacks are not in chronological order _(if you haven't noticed, Lol)_ and Michelle is eight years old in this story since it takes place after DJ's death which is in 1995, for those of you who were wondering. :) xX

* * *

**_SETTING:_** _The Bathroom_

**_TIME:_** _5:45pm_

**_YEAR:_** _1995_

_DJ took a deep breath; slowly closing her eyes as she leaned her head back, letting the warm water rinse over her battered body. The past few days, even weeks have been extremely stressful for DJ, she had been studying like crazy and getting in every bit of information that her brain could store. Finals would be coming up and DJ couldn't fall behind now or fail any of her finals. She may have been accepted into Stanford, but they could easily still reject her if they felt she may have been falling behind in her studies and that was the very last thing DJ Tanner wanted. It was her only hope of getting out of the painful clutch of her Uncle._

_The constant abuse she had been receiving from Uncle Jesse wasn't helping at all. He seemed to be even more brutal these past couple of days than usual and DJ's body was starting to feel the effects of it._

_But DJ refused to break down now, she was too close to her dream and no one, not even Jesse, could take that away from her._

_As DJ's soap filled hands massaged all over her body, she all of a sudden began to feel an eerie feeling in the atmosphere. The hairs on the back of her neck stood as she felt goose bumps form on her back. Something told her to turn around and that's exactly what she had done. She felt her heart drop down into the pit of her stomach as she felt her body tense and shake with fear as she dropped the soap that resided in her hands and backed away as far as she could, desperately trying to cover herself._

_"Uncle Jesse!" DJ gasped._

_Jesse stood there with a sly grin spread across his face as he stood there, in all his glory, scanning over her body. _

_"Shh," was all Jesse said, before slowly moving inches and inches closer to her, closing the small gap between them, claiming her lips to his._

_"Uncle Jesse...stop!" DJ struggled to get free from his strong grip, but he was just too strong. Jesse now had her pinned against the wall, the warm water now pouring down onto their glistening bodies that were now pressed against one another. _

_Jesse began kissing down her neck, "I don't know why you continue to fight this, Donna Jo. Nothing's going change. It's going be me and you always." He murmured making his way back up to her neck and finding her lips once again._

_Those words haunted DJ to the core. That was her worst fear: never being able to get away from her Uncle and his twisted ways and that she'd always be held down by him. She feared that a part of her would always belong to him. He had taken away everything that was most precious to her._

_He stole her sanity, her peace of mind, and her purity. He purloined every ounce of innocence that was left in her. She couldn't escape the feeling of grubbiness that she seemed to always feel, no matter how many showers she took, no matter how hard she scrubbed. She couldn't wash away the sinister relationship her Uncle had engaged her into for the past eight years. The scars her uncle had put on to her body could not be erased and would always remain there as a constant reminder of the kind of abuse she had endured over the years._

_She felt her body sink against his as she let him invade her temple once more, almost blacking out in the process as she always did._

"Jess…Jess honey, wake up, you're scaring me!" Rebecca's voice echoed as Jesse awakened with a start, the sweat trickling down his forehead a lot worse than the first time he had awakened, tears in his eyes as he looked around frantically.

"It's okay Jess it was just a dream. It's okay…" Becky's soothing voice spoke as she stroked away the damp hairs that covered Jesse's glistening forehead.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream, he remembered that particular incident like it was yesterday. It came out so vivid in his dreams though, like he was actually reliving the whole affair over again. Nasty chills vibrated through his body as he slowly and tentatively lied back down, his breathing slowly and steadily going back to normal.

"How are you feeling?" Becky asked softly, continuing to stroke his hair away from his face.

Jesse blinked his eyes as he breathed deeply. "F-Fine, now..." He slowly looked around, "Where's Danny?"

"Last time I talked to him he said he was on his way with Joey."

Jesse nodded; he was a bit nervous for Danny because of the argument they shared yesterday night. With everything going on, the last thing Danny needed was to be getting into arguments. Right now he needed nothing but support and love from his family, he deserved it.

"What time is it?"

"11:02am." Becky looked over at her husband with concern. "Jess, are you sure you're okay?"

Jesse forced a reassuring smile and pat Becky's hand lightly, "I'm sure, Beck. Everything's fine."

"Okay…"Becky smiled, leaning down and planting kiss on to his lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too Becky."

* * *

"Danny, are you okay?"

Danny kept his eyes on the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I'm perfectly fine, Joey. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know; you just seem kind of out of it." Joey said in concern. For the past couple of days, Joey had been worried about Danny and so far he had been taking the recent death of his daughter pretty well. He still had his moments, like this one perhaps, but overall really well.

Joey had taken notice to how quiet and dazed his best friend looked, like he was in deep thought. Maybe it had something to do with Jesse. Joey didn't know exactly what happened with Jesse last night, but knew that this kind of drama was the last thing Danny and the girls needed.

But in Jesse's defense, Jesse was hurting as well. That was his niece and they were close. Joey knew Jesse wasn't the kind of guy who let his feelings lay bare for everyone to see. He dealt with his feelings, hurt, and pain in his own way and though this may not have been the best way. Joey could understand Jesse's logic in why he did what he did.

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, I'm a bit tired." Danny admitted, still keeping his eyes on the road.

Joey knew that wasn't the whole reason for Danny's space-like behavior, but let it go for now. "Well how about when the kids get home from school, I'll take them out for some ice cream, then a movie. That way you'll have the house to yourself, besides Jesse being in the attic, which I'm pretty sure he'll keep to himself the whole time, you'll have plenty of time to take a well needed nap."

Danny shook his head, "You really don't have to do that for me, Joey."

"Hey," Joey said, "We are best friends, and best friends are always there for each other no matter what."

Danny smiled, finally for the first time in seventy-two hours, or since he heard the news of his eldest daughter's recent death. Danny glanced over at Joey. "Thanks Joey. I really don't know what I'd do without you by my side, especially with everything that's been going on recently."

"That's what friends are for." Joey said, patting his best friend on the shoulder.

* * *

"I'm sorry…"

Danny whipped his head around, almost dropping the frame that resided in his hands of DJ when she was the age of eight. He was supposed to be napping and getting in all the lost sleep from the past few days, as Joey would put it. But he found himself in a complete restless state and his head spinning with the constant thought of his deceased daughter.

He quickly wiped away a tear that had escaped his eyes as his eyes never meeting his brother-in-law's as he sniffled.

"Jess, you're supposed to be resting."

Jesse gave a lopsided smile as his hands remained in his pajama bottoms, "The same can be said about yourself, Daniel."

Before Joey and the kids left, he had informed Jesse that Danny had been practically sleep deprived for weeks now (or since the day he found out his eldest daughter was no longer living.) and to not to engage in any unnecessary quarrels with one another if the two had happened to cross paths.

And by the looks of it, Joey had been pretty spot on. Jesse for the first time observed his brother-in-law's current physical state. He certainly hadn't looked like the neat freak, everything-has-to-be-perfect Danny Tanner that Jesse had grown accustomed to.

His eyes were bloodshot, like he had been crying for hours, nonstop. His hair was messy and all over the place. His clothes were wrinkled, which was unusual for Danny as he always liked – no _loved_ his clothes in pristine condition. The slightest wrinkle or stain was enough for Danny to change clothes.

It was then when Jesse realized that everything had changed since then. They had all changed. And Jesse wasn't sure things would ever go back to the way things used to be.

"Please Jess," Danny finally spoke as he took a seat on the couch, the picture frame still rested in his hands. A distressed look plastered onto his face. "I just want to be alone for a while…"

Jesse stared at Danny for a moment before slowly nodding in understanding. "Alright," As Jesse turned to leave up the stairs; he turned back around to look over at Danny. "I'm am sorry, Daniel. About the other night, I shouldn't have acted that way…with everything going on, the last thing we need is to turn on each other." Jesse sighed as he seen Danny didn't budge, his eyes stayed glued to picture frame in his hands. Jesse made his way up the stairs, "Goodnight, Daniel."

Even though it wasn't nighttime, Jesse figured it would be the last time he would see Danny at all that day…

* * *

"Alright," Joey breathed out as he had just finished skimming through the various movies that popped up on the screen above him. He leaned down to Michelle's level and looked in between the two girls. "So there's _Toy Story, Jumanji, Casper, Pocahontas_ –"

"Casper!" Michele smiled brightly as she jumped up and down. Joey smiled as he looked up at Stephanie, who seemed the least bit interested. "Steph,"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Joey said, standing to his feet, staring down at Stephanie with eyes of concern.

Stephanie shrugged, "I'm fine."

Joey blinked, he knew that look. She wasn't okay. Knowing Stephanie since the day Danny brought her home and announced that she was girl! Joey could always tell when she was lying. The same can be said for DJ and Michelle.

_DJ_..., Joey quickly swallowed, already feeling the lump forming in the back of his throat. Joey, still, could not mentally grasp the fact that she was no longer here. It was like a nightmare that was being prolonged and soon enough everyone would wake up and thank goodness that it was just a dream. But it wasn't. It was the new reality that they were all going to have to face for the rest of their lives.

Deep down, Joey had a twinging feeling that neither of them would ever be able to actually accept the fact that DJ would no longer be in either of their lives. She'd be gone _forever_...

Joey could remember when DJ was no older than seven years of age. Her long, blonde, wavy locks. Her baby blues eyes staring up into his. Full of innocence. No one could have ever imagined this happening ten years later. She was such a sweet, happy little girl. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was going places. She was going to fulfill all the dreams she's ever had. She was going to live a long, happy life.

This wasn't supposed to happen at all. This wasn't supposed to happen to Danny, his best friend. He was a fantastic father, the kind of father Joey hoped he could be when he fathered children of his own one day.

Joey could remember the day when Danny called him up, informing him that Pam had died in a car accident from a drunk driver. He could remember that call like it was yesterday. The eerie feeling that lingered in the air. The hollowness that filled Danny's voice.

Joey had never seen his best friend in such a vulnerable and helpless state. Joey could remember Danny always being so energetic and happy-go-lucky. To see him at DJ's funeral, it was like déjà vu for him. That same harrowing, distressed look resided on his face. He could only imagine what Danny was feeling.

No parent should have to outlive their children. No parent should have to bury their child before their time. It was something Joey wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. Joey often wondered how Danny was still standing. He had endured more pain and heartache in his lifetime then any average human should.

But this only proved how strong his best friend is, and how much he loved his children enough to not break down, even though he was allowed to a small, emotional breakdown or two.

"Look," Stephanie started, breaking Joey's reflection of thoughts. "Is it okay if I see another movie by myself? Those are all kids' movies."

"No there not!" Michelle protested as she crossed her small arms against her chest. "Casper is rated PG."

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I think I might go see _Clueless_ or _The Basketball Diaries_." Stephanie shrugged carelessly.

Joey looked apprehensive, "I don't know, Steph. Isn't that an R-rated movie?"

Stephanie huffed in frustration, "Joey, I'm fifteen-years-old! I'm not a kid anymore. I'm old enough."

Joey stared at Stephanie, almost like he was contemplating if he should or not. After a moment of silence, he finally sighed. "Alright, you can go. But if your movie ends before ours, you stay out here and wait for us, alright?" Joey said as he pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it over to Stephanie with a serious look on his face. Stephanie sighed and nodded. "I'm serious, Steph."

Stephanie ignored Joey's warningly stares and strides off in the opposite direction they were in. "I will, I will! How much trouble can you get in at a movie theater?"

Joey sighed, staring off in the direction Stephanie was walking in shaking his head. "More than you know, Steph. More than you know..."


	8. Chapter 5

**_SETTING:_** _Tanner Family Room_

**_TIME:_** _6:05pm_

**_YEAR:_** _1995_

Danny sat there, frame in hands, silently glaring at the picture of his deceased daughter. His glazed, bloodshot eyes filled with tears as anger and bitterness pumped through his veins. Why had this happened? What had he missed? What had drove her over the edge to the point where she felt there was no solution? What was so bad that she felt that the only way out was death?

Danny wondered why she would do such a horrific thing as to end her life. To Danny's knowledge, DJ appeared to be a happy girl who had gotten accepted into her favorite college and was actually going places in life, to pursue her lifelong dreams.

Even though Danny wasn't too happy about the fact that she didn't want to go to a college closer to home, he figured it was better than somewhere that was out of state. Compared to how far some colleges were, one could say Danny was considered one of the lucky ones for Stanford was only about thirty-three miles away and an only forty-five minute driving distance. It was not _too_ close, but not _too _far away either.

Why would she do this, Danny found himself pondering on quite often. She was happy, wasn't she? Danny was finally letting go of his tight "leash" one might call it and was letting DJ go and live the life that she wanted.

Did something happen, was Danny's next train of thought. Did she get into a huge fight with Kimmy? No, she and Kimmy used to always get into little quarrels with each other and in the end would always make up with each other. Danny observed that many years ago and figured his dreams of getting rid of _The Gibbler_ were shot and was probably _never_ going to happen, but Danny had held out hope for it to happen one day.

Danny's mind had suddenly wondered on Kimmy Gibbler. How was she taking all of this? Danny hadn't seen her all day or the past few days at that and that was very unusual for Kimmy.

No matter what the circumstances were, she always found her way back into the Tanner household with her infamous line: _"Hola Tannerinos!"_

Danny found himself missing that. Can you believe it? He actually missed the sound of Kimmy Gibbler's voice ringing through the Tanner household with pure glee and cheerfulness. As weird as it sounded, Kimmy's barging in every morning brought comfort and some sort of solace to his life. He'd practically give anything to hear the sound of her and DJ's voice, laughing and smiling as they always did when they had gotten home from school.

Now, that seemed to be some much as a distant memory. Danny's eyes finally tore away from the frame in his hands and onto clock that hung high upon wall above his fireplace mantel that held many Kodak memories.

Today marked seventy-two hours since he buried his daughter and it had been almost a week and a half since he was informed that his daughter was officially declared dead. He would remember that awful, horrific day for the rest of his life.

He remembered that day was particularly overcast, which was pretty odd in itself considering the fact that summer was just around the corner…

_"Steph, will you go upstairs and check on DJ and tell her that dinner's ready." Danny glanced up at his second eldest daughter who simply nodded, racing up the kitchen stairs. _

_He remembered how satisfied he was with the meal he had chosen for dinner, spaghetti and meatballs, with garlic bread sticks on the side. He knew DJ had been stressed out for finals practically all week, but now she was through with them and her much anticipated high school graduation was near and he knew DJ would be relieved, happy, and anxious all at the same time._

_He smiled at the thought of DJ walking across that stage. He couldn't help but feel bittersweet about the whole situation. His was ecstatic and extremely proud that his daughter had accomplished and finished this chapter in her life. She would be moving on to bigger and better things. _

_But this also reminded Danny that she was growing up. Her graduation neared within a couple days, and then her birthday would follow not that long after. She would be finally turning eighteen. The big 1-8. Danny was almost flabbergasted by that recognition. It seemed that as if it was only yesterday he had brought her home, and that she would come in the middle of the night and crawl in bed with he and Pam whenever she had nightmares._

_Pam…, Danny's mind wandered further. She would be so proud of DJ and how she's turned out. She would be proud of all their daughters and how they turned out._

_Danny blinked and slightly flinched as the noise coming from the family room had jolted Danny out of his thoughts, abruptly. It had been the front door. Quickly, Danny removed his cooking gloves and apron and headed into the family room and to the front door, where he was greeted by two muscular police officers, who wore somber, stern looks onto their pale faces._

_Danny knitted his eyebrows in confusion as he opened his mouth to speak. "Hello officers, is there something wrong?" Danny immediately assumed by the looks on their colorless faces._

_"Are you Daniel Tanner, father of Donna Jo Tanner?" The police officer on the left had spoken first; his expression still remained the same._

_"Uhm, yes, that's me. And DJ is my daughter. What's going on here?" Danny asked, not being able to control the slight franticness that slowly crept into his voice. He had only hoped that DJ had not gotten into any serious trouble right before her graduation._

_But somehow, Danny, deep down in his heart, knew that wasn't so and that DJ wasn't that kind of child. If the police had come to his house looking for her, there had to be some logical explanation for it. And boy was there…_

_If there were any color left in their features, it was for sure drained to out now. Danny's heart thumped widely with anticipation and slight unease of the unknown. He could feel the sweat building up onto his forehead and his hands becoming clammy. His eyes switching aimlessly between the two men that stood before him, about to deliver news to him that would be forever life changing. _

_"Mr. Tanner," The one on the right finally spoke. "I'm detective Woods, Allen Woods. And this is Officer Reynolds, Martin Reynolds. He was one of the officers that were called when a local pedestrian found your daughter and called the police."_

_Danny was lost for words; 'he was one of the officers that were called when a local pedestrian found your daughter and called the police'. What did he mean by that? Why were the police called on his daughter? What was going on? _

_Danny's head began to pound with numerous possibilities, but none of which made sense as to why the police were there. Then suddenly, Danny felt as if his stomach were doing somersaults. The feeling of nausea loomed over him as he peered up at the two men standing before him._

_Something was wrong. Something was very wrong._

_"Mr. Tanner, after your daughter was found she was immediately rushed and admitted to the St. Francis Memorial Hospital. They found numerous medications in her system, such as Xanax, sleeping medicine, pain killers, and alcohol. Because of that, she overdosed. She was unresponsive the entire ride to the hospital." Detective Woods paused for a moment, and for what seemed like forever, he uttered the words that confirmed Danny's worst fear. "…She was pronounced dead at the scene."_

_And that was when Danny's heart stopped. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Danny felt his heart pound hardly against his chest. The glistening sweat that resided on his forehead began to trickle down the corners of his face. He began to feel lightheaded as he took a step back, his head spinning._

'They found numerous medications in her system, such as Xanax, sleeping medicine, pain killers, and alcohol. Because of that, she overdosed.'

'She was unresponsive the entire ride to the hospital.'

'…She was pronounced dead at the scene.'

_"Dad, DJ's not in her room. I checked every –"Stephanie stopped dead in her tracks by the look on her father's face. Immediately feeling the eerie feeling that resided in the air, she raced down the last three steps and over to her father, whose face lacked color. He looked as if he were going to vomit at any given moment._

_"D-Dad what's going on? What's the matter?"_

_But Danny couldn't hear her; he didn't even hear her come down the steps and into the room. The words that were spoken to him echoed in his head. He clutched onto his chest, where he suddenly felt tightness, his breathing heaving as his vision had become blurry._

_"Mr. Tanner, are you alright?" Officer Reynolds asked in what seemed like genuine concern._

_"He's having an anxiety attack!" Detective Woods announced, "Bring him over to the couch and get him a glass of water."_

_Officer Reynolds and Detective Woods helped Danny over to the couch and sat him down while Stephanie went to get her father a glass of water. When she returned he was already hyperventilating. She quickly handed the glass over to Detective Reynolds who was desperately trying to calm her father down._

_"Breathe, Mr. Tanner, breathe."_

_Stephanie watched her father's shaky hands reach for the glass and gulp it down in one sip. His eyes were glazed as she seen golf ball sized tears stream down her father's, pale, pasty face. Stephanie could feel her own heartbeat quicken as she searched her father's eyes for answers. She had never seen her father act this way. What could have possibly happened for him to act this way?_

_"T-There has to be an m-mistake! S-She can't be gone, she just can't!" Her father's voice trembled._

_Something was definitely wrong. Who was he talking about?_

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Tanner. The doctors, they did everything they could to save her. She already died before they even reached the hospital. I'm so sorry…" Detective Woods said, sincerely. _

_Stephanie knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. Who were they talking about? It had to be someone who meant a lot to her father for him to break down this way. Stephanie gazed over at her father with utter worry and concern._

_"No…not my Donna Jo…."_

_Stephanie felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, did she hear that right?_

_"D-Dad, w-what's wrong with D-DJ?" Stephanie found herself trembling as well as she went and sat down by her father hesitantly. He immediately threw his arms around her and pulled her close as he let the tears from his eyes run freely._

_"She's gone, Steph…our DJ is gone!"_

_Stephanie felt her eye sockets burn as tears pushed their way through rapidly. No. Not DJ. _

_Stephanie wrapped her arms around her father tightly as the two both wailed and weep in each others arms._

_Detective Woods and Officer Reynolds silently watched the two, this part of his job he absolutely hated the most. No one deserved this. Absolutely no one…_

Danny blinked as he let out the breath he had not realized he'd been holding. That day, his life had been changed forever.

Danny suddenly felt the back of his throat moisten up and the pit of his stomach grumbled in knots. He instantly felt nauseous.

Feeling the matter climb up his esophagus, Danny raced up the stairs and burst into the nearest bathroom and doubled over the toilet, releasing the continents of his stomach.

He couldn't say he felt that much better after. Instead, he stayed put, with his back against the tub. A salty tear slid down his pastel features. He whimpered as he placed his head in his hands, mumbling, "My baby girl…"

* * *

_"Come on, Deej. He likes you and wants to go out with you, give him a chance."_

_DJ sighed as she and Kimmy entered into the kitchen, Kimmy had been bugging her all day to go out with a guy at school named Steve. DJ had to admit, he was absolutely handsome. But DJ knew getting in a relationship with him or any other boy would only end in disaster for her and possibly Steve. _

_She knew Jesse would not allow it. He made it perfectly clear the last time that _she_ belonged to _him_ and no one else. Nasty chills flowed down DJ's spine at the thought of the last time he believed she was "cheating on him" he nearly choked her to death._

_DJ wasn't up for that happening to her ever again. She learned that just by doing what he says would only be easier for her in the end. She had to learn that the hard way._

_"I would, Kimmy, I would. But…I just can't."_

_"Why not?" Kimmy knitted her dirty blonde eyebrows in confusion._

_DJ nervously bit her lip, she really didn't have a reason why she shouldn't, well a least a reason that she could _actually_ tell her best friend._

_Right as DJ opened her mouth to speak, Joey had strolled in from the family room. DJ let out relived sigh, she had never been so glad to see Joey._

_"Hey Joey!"_

_"Hey Deej, how was school?" _

_DJ shrugged, setting her school bag down. "School was school. Where is everybody?" And what she meant by everybody, was _Jesse_._

_"Well Stephanie and Michelle haven't gotten home from school yet. Danny's in the living room with Becky going over some new stuff for _Wake up, San Francisco_ and Jesse…well I don't know where Jesse is." Joey shrugged. "But the last time I seen him he told me he wanted to talk to you about something when you got home, so…" Joey opened up a can of Pepsi and sipped some from the can. _

_DJ could feel her heartbeat quicken its pace at his last sentence._

_"Welp, I'll see you tomorrow Deej. Remember, think about what I said." And she was gone. DJ sighed, picking up her bag and slugging it over her shoulders, making her way up the stairs. Jesse knew the exact time she would get home by and if she was late, she knew she'd have some explaining to do._

_DJ gulped as she hesitantly made her way down the hallway and stopped in front of her bedroom door. She could feel her heart beat wildly against her chest as she tentatively reached for knob of her door and turned it._

_She nervously glanced around the room as she sat her bag down in the chair near her computer desk. Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands cover her eyes. She flinched out of fear as she heard an all too familiar, masculine voice whisper into ear._

_"Guess who…,"_

_She didn't respond as she slowly turned around meeting his fervent, silver gray eyes gazing down at her. She swallowed hardly as her timid; storm gray eyes stared up at him. "H-Hi Uncle Jesse, Joey said you w-wanted to talk to me…"_

_DJ watched as he laughed lightly, brushing his hand against her cheek. "Why are you so jumpy? You know I would never hurt you and if I do, it's for your own good."_

_DJ fought back the urge to roll her eyes, what kind of sick, twisted logic was that?_

_"Close your eyes…." DJ obeyed as she gnawed nervously on her bottom lip. She suddenly felt something slide around her neck. Instinctively her eyes shot open and she looked down at a silver heart pendant around her neck with a rose gold diamond in the middle. DJ's eyes widen in shock. It was absolutely gorgeous!_

_DJ wondered where her uncle would get the money for something as high-priced as this._

_She was rendered speechless as she slowly looked up at her uncle, whose smiled suddenly faded from his face as his eyes shined with fierceness and bile._

_"You hate it don't you?" He shrieked in an accusing manner. "Don't you!" He repeated, making DJ wince out of fear. _

_DJ shook her head, "No, Uncle Jesse, I love it! It's beautiful!"_

_Jesse's face darkened, "Your lying. Don't lie to me, Donna Jo!"_

_DJ continued to shake her head repeatedly. "No really! I truly love it. It's the most beautiful piece of jewelry I've ever seen." That part was true; no one had ever given her something so flamboyant and snazzy before. She hated the circumstances for it though._

_DJ forced a genuine smile and stood on her tippy toes and brushed her lips gently against his. She timidly pulled away seeing the sly grin that crossed her Uncle's face. "Thank you, Uncle Jesse."_

_Suddenly, his features became grim as he stared down into her eyes. "Don't ever take it off."_

_DJ felt her throat dry up as she slowly nodded, glancing down at the pendant that rested on the crate of her neck._

_"I-I won't." She stammered as she watched him lean down; gently pressing his lips against hers. DJ reluctantly closed her eyes as she felt him direct her over to the bed._

_"You mean so much to me, Deej. So much. I don't know what I'd do without you…"_

Jesse shot up from his bed with a start, panting heavily. Jesse whimpered once he realized it was another bad dream, except it wasn't a dream, it was a flashback. He remembered getting that necklace for his niece as a way to show her and everyone else that _she_ belonged to _him_. He owned her.

Jesse could feel the cold sweat trickle down his forehead. He felt clammy all over and felt the urge to get up and take a shower. But he knew that if he did he probably wouldn't be able to head back to sleep.

Maybe that was a good thing. Jesse threw the covers off of him and hoped out of bed, racing over to the bathroom. He stripped his clothes off and turned on the shower head. He stepped in and closed his eyes, feeling the tension in his muscles relax.

His thoughts then wondered to his brother-in-law. He wondered if he was okay. He didn't seem well balanced the last time he had seen him. But then again, he had just buried his daughter a mere seventy-two hours ago. How well balanced can a person be after that? Jesse made a mental note to go and check on him once he was finished with his shower.


	9. Chapter 6

_**SETTING:**_ _Central Theater_

_**TIME**__**: **__5:45_

_**YEAR:**_ _1995_

Stephanie chewed on her bottom lip, casually glancing around at the people in the theater. It was pretty crowded for a Wednesday night. Her eyes wandered over to an older couple who were hand in hand, grinning from ear to ear. Stephanie found herself fantasizing about her life when she was to be their age. Stephanie would be happily married with one or two little ones of her own. No more than that. She always imagined her children growing up with DJ's.

Stephanie felt a twinge of agony at the thought of her deceased eldest sister. Stephanie could feel her throat dry up as she fought back the urge to break out into a fit of tears right then and there. She could hardly decipher the fact that her sister had been buried three days ago. It was a surreal feeling. It had been only a little over a month ago that she and DJ made a bet about lying off sweets for a whole week.

Stephanie smiled in a reminiscent manner at the memory, neither of them stayed true to that bet. Stephanie desperately tried to swallow the golf ball sized lump that was forming in her throat; she'd give anything to go back to that moment in time, to see her sister laughing and smiling so vibrantly, to hear the sound of her voice…

"May I help you, Miss?"

Stephanie's head jerked up abruptly at the sound of a voice before her that shook her from her thoughts of her deceased sister.

It was the teller. Stephanie subconsciously took note of her features. She was a slender, brunette who looked to be in her early twenties. She smiled politely at Stephanie. She reminded Stephanie a lot of the actress _Soleil Moon Frye_, just with a lot less freckles.

"Um, yes. One adult ticket for _The Basketball Diaries_, please."

The teller, aka-_Soleil Moon Frye look-alike_ cocked her perfectly manicured eyebrow at the young blonde before her. "May I ask how old you are?"

Stephanie cleared her throat nervously, but tried not to show it. "I'm eighteen, why?"

The teller shrugged, "You just look a lot younger than eighteen."

Stephanie hoped she wouldn't ask for I.D.

As Stephanie gnawed on her bottom lip for a response, she feigned a smile. "Well, miss…" She quickly glanced down at the teller's name tag, "Amanda, looks can surely be deceiving." Stephanie finished cleverly.

Stephanie watched as the girl peered at her suspiciously, then finally, she sighed and typed something into the thick computer before her. She handed Stephanie her ticket and forced a smile.

"Enjoy your movie, Miss."

Stephanie quickly scurried away, relieved that her real age was not exposed.

Stephanie let out a relived breath as she made it passed the guy who rips your tickets in half. Stephanie nervously chewed on her bottom lip as she made her way into the theater along with several other people after getting some popcorn and cherry soda.

As she found a seat way at the top of the theater, she spotted a guy and a girl, enter into the theater. They were a couple who looked like they were on a date. Stephanie kept her eyes on the couple as they made their way up the steps and sat down a couple rows in front of Stephanie. The guy looked familiar. He had dark wavy hair that was slicked back. The guy's hairstyle was familiar to Stephanie as well.

She wasn't able to catch a glimpse of the mystery guy's face as the lights dimmed in the theater, denoting the movie was going to begin.

Stephanie found herself throughout the whole movie, glancing over at the mystery guy. It was bugging Stephanie that she couldn't catch a peek at his face. His gestures, movements, body language, they were all too familiar.

She watched as the girl snuggled up to the boy and rests her head on his chest, and then they kissed for a while; Stephanie rolled her eyes, annoyingly at this. Then the boy finally pulled away from sucking faces with the girl. Stephanie watched as he mouthed a few words to the girl that Stephanie could not comprehend, and then the boy got up.

Stephanie presumed he was going to the bathroom, or to get more snacks.

Stephanie waited a few seconds before discreetly following behind the mystery boy out the theater room. As Stephanie predicted, he was on his way to the snack bar.

Stephanie now stood behind the mystery boy in a line. After he paid for, what it looked to be, liquorish, jawbreakers, and a few tootsie rolls.

Stephanie had to find a way to meet this boy. Stephanie bit her lip in contemplation, and then an idea popped in her head. She rolled her eyes at the thought. It was pretty cliché, but she hadn't had a better idea.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, I –"

Stephanie finally got a look at the mystery boy's features. Her jaw literally hit the floor. It was Steve. Memories of he and her elder sister flooded Stephanie's cerebrum. Steve was DJ's boyfriend. Her _secret_ boyfriend, actually. They had been dating on and off for most of DJ's high school years until they officially broke up towards the end of DJ's junior year. Stephanie didn't know why. DJ had never really elaborated on why she and Steve had broken up, for good.

The only information she coughed up was that she and Steve had gotten together at the wrong time and eventually outgrown one another. Stephanie had wondered what her sister had meant by "wrong timing" and even to this day she still wondered.

Stephanie also wondered as to why her relationship with Steve was such a big secret. Why _all_ her romantic relationships with guys were kept a secret. Sure their father wasn't a big fan of them dating but he wasn't a crazed, overprotective manic father. He eventually accepted the fact that they were growing up and were going to have boyfriends.

Stephanie blinked as she took in his features. She hadn't seen him since the day he and DJ had broken up. That had been about a year ago. He hadn't changed much. He looked a little taller than from what Stephanie could remember. His hair was still inky black and slightly wavy. He was still the handsome boy that courted her sister for all those years.

She always thought Steve was the nicest and cutest boyfriend DJ had, besides Viper. Viper was smoking too, with his ripped jeans and curly locks. He was a bit ditzy too, like Steve in a way, but a little more muscular, like he worked out at the gym every day. Stephanie couldn't help but admire his physique from afar. DJ and Viper didn't last nearly as long as she and Steve did.

From what Stephanie could remember, they were kind of on and off as well. Much like she and Steve's relationship, Viper was kept a secret as well. Stephanie wondered if the secrecy is what ultimately ended most of DJ's relationships.

Stephanie wouldn't put past that theory. Stephanie wasn't sure she'd be able to stay with any guy who wanted to keep her and their relationship a secret…

"Stephanie…" Steve finally spoke, "Is that you?" He looked surprised.

Stephanie presumed it was because of that fact that she had grown since the last time he had seen her. She had been around fourteen when he had last seen her. She was taller now, and what one could say…, more… _developed_.

She watched as Steve's eyes roam over her from head to toe. She could feel the hotness under her neck and around her cheeks. Her hands became slightly clammy.

"Wow, you look great! So grown up since the last time I seen you." He smiled, revealing his perfectly aligned whites.

Gosh, he was so attractive. He was as dreamy as Stephanie could remember.

Wait, did she just think that? _Snap out of it, Steph!_

"Uh, yeah it's been a while… erm, so, how are you?"

"I'm…alright. I, um, I heard about what happened to DJ…"

All of a sudden the mood had changed and an uncanny feeling had settled in the air. Stephanie could see the color drain from Steve's face as he mentioned the name of his ex-girlfriend. She could see the little strength he was using to keep his composure.

Stephanie could see his eyes glisten with tears that stung the corner of his eyes. Stephanie felt her heart sink at the sight.

"You know," Steve started, his voice shaky. "When I was first told that she…she…_died_, I-I just couldn't believe it. I thought it was some big joke or that it was all a terrible nightmare. But it was real. I remember feeling numb all over. I still do sometimes..."

Stephanie could see the tears leak from his eyes and pour onto his pale cheeks.

"I've always loved DJ. Always. Even when we broke up, I never stopped loving her. She was the only girl that I truly loved." There was a slight pause. "I still love her and always will."

And he did. Stephanie could remember the times DJ and Steve shared. She could remember the way they would look at each other. The way Steve would hold onto her, whenever they were watching a movie or are just simply around each other. The way he would stroke her hair and touch her, Stephanie remembered secretly fantasizing about a boy doing all those things to her, exactly the way Steve did.

They loved each other dearly, or as much as two love struck teenagers could. Now looking back, Steve had really love DJ. Possibly more than _she_ loved _him_.

"She loved you too, Steve. Even though you two broke up, she still had love for you. She thought she was doing what was best for the both of you."

Stephanie found herself tearing up. Her sister's death still had not registered with her. She couldn't accept the fact that DJ wasn't there anymore. That she wasn't going to be able to run and tell her anything when she needed to. That she wasn't going to be able to get married and have DJ as her maid-of-honor. That their kids would not grow up together. She couldn't accept it, she just couldn't.

But deep down, very deep, Stephanie knew that eventually she would have to. She would have to move on with her life and keep the loving memories of her deceased sister in her heart. She would have to be strong for Michelle, for Michelle was hurting too. That was her oldest sister too.

Before either of them knew it, both had their arms wrapped around each other tightly, weeping in each other's shoulders. Steve was taking it hard, which was expected. They did go steady for the majority of their high school years.

Stephanie silently wondered about Viper and if he had heard about what had happened to DJ. Stephanie wondered (if he knew), how he was doing and if he was taking it as hard as Steve…

"I was planning to come and see you and everyone else. I can only imagine how everyone else is taking it." Steve whispered as they slowly pulled apart. "I wanted to come over, I really did. But every time I'd build up enough courage to do so, I chickened out figuring you all needed some alone time to grieve amongst yourselves. I figured no would want to see me anyway since Deej and I broke up."

Stephanie shook her head, "No Steve, that's not true. You were her boyfriend for a while. Possibly the longest boyfriend she's ever had. You made her happy; of course we would want you around."

Steve simply smiled and looked at Stephanie with sincere eyes. "Thanks, Stephanie. You know that really means a lot." There was a short pause. "So, how have you been doing? I know it has got to be hard on you. I know you guys were really close."

Stephanie sighed, feeling her throat dry and a lump form. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm doing okay. It gets hard most of the time, but it helps to have my dad, Joey, Uncle Jesse, and Aunt Becky there." Stephanie paused for moment before continuing. "It almost seems like a dream, it doesn't even feel real, but I know it is…" Stephanie could feel her tears burn at the back of her eye sockets as she felt Steve wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him. She could smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne. She slowly closed her eyes, savoring the moment.

"I'm so sorry, Steph. I'm sorry…" Steve whispered into Stephanie's ear soothingly.

The actuality of being in Steve's arms made Stephanie feel a certain way inside, like she could feel butterflies bursting inside by their embrace. _Why_ she felt this way she didn't know. I mean, sure she had always found Steve attractive; she found most of DJ's boyfriend's _attractive_, but that's all she ever really thought of them – _Attractive_. _Just_ _attractive_.

Also considering the fact that's Steve was DJ's boyfriend and rightfully so.

But residing in his arms brought back old feelings Stephanie had buried deep within herself that she hadn't realized were there until then…

"_Steve!_"

The two both jumped away from their position and Stephanie became face with a tall, slender blonde. She also had looked familiar, and then it clicked.

Rachel Taylor.

She was Steve's ex. The one that almost ruined DJ's prom when she tried to come onto Steve knowing he had a girlfriend and it was DJ.

Stephanie eyes switched from Rachel, to Steve, then back at Rachel who was glaring intensely at her. Rachel couldn't have possibly been the girl Steve had been cuddled up with in the theater room…could she?

"Rachel, hey, um, you remember Stephanie, right? Erm, DJ's sister." Steve's voice weakened at the mention of his late, ex-girlfriend's name.

"Yeah, I remember." Rachel spat with seemingly no emotion. "What were you doing hugging _her_?" She crossed her arms, immediately getting to the point.

Stephanie couldn't understand what Steve had seen in her. She was a real witch.

Steve seemed to notice her animosity towards her. "Why are you getting so upset, Rach, we were just talking."

Rachel huffed, unfolding her arms angrily in the process. "Because you were gone for a while and I thought you had ditched me so I come looking for you only to find _my_ boyfriend hugged up with some bimbo, and worse! _DJ's _sister." Rachel finished the last part of her sentence with disgust.

Stephanie could feel her blood boiling. She fought the urge to slap the girl across her face. _How dare she speak about my deceased sister that way! _

But before Stephanie could spew all that out, Steve spoke – more like yelled before she could say a word.

"Close your damn mouth, Rachel! Don't you ever talk about DJ that way or even speak to Stephanie that way! You have no right!" Steve shook his head, eyeing Rachel down in disgust. "I don't know what I ever seen in you, but it's over Rachel. I never want to see you again. Don't call me, don't come by my house, I'm _done_, for _good_ this time…"

Stephanie would be lying if she said she wasn't shocked. She hadn't expected Steve to stick up for her like that. But she was glad.

Steve's fists were balled up so tight his knuckles began to turn white. His eyes boring angrily into Rachel's as his words had dripped with venom. He meant what he said. He truly meant it.

Stephanie could tell Rachel was taken aback by Steve's outburst as well by the startled look on her face. She blinked and finally regained composure and picked her jaw up from the floor. She glared at the both of them with hatred.

"You're going to regret this Steve, _big _time. No one dumps me like that, especially _you_. It's not over until I say it's over. It's not!" Stephanie could see Rachel ball up her fist as Steve stood protectively in front of Stephanie incase Rachel decided to get physical. "You made the biggest mistake of your life, Hale. And I'm going to make-you-pay." Her eyes then switched to Stephanie's as the pique in her eyes seemed to heighten, if possible. "And _you_, _you_ better watch your back, _Tanner_. You messed with the wrong one." And with that, she turned on her heel and stocked off into the other direction with anger.

Moments later, Steve turned towards Stephanie with an apologetic, sincere smile. "I'm sorry Steph…about her."

Stephanie scoffed, "Don't be. You can't control wild, uncaged animals." Stephanie rolled her eyes and Steve replied with a chuckle of his own. "Thanks."

Steve knitted his eyebrows together in confusion, "For what?"

"For sticking up for me, you really didn't have to, but I'm glad you did. So, thanks."

Steve shook his head. "I don't even know what I even seen in her. She never would act that way with me." Steve sighed, "I guess the saying, "Love is blind" really is true."

Stephanie frowned. "_You _loved _her_?"

Steve shrugged. "I use to think I did, until I met DJ and realized I never felt the way I felt with DJ for any girl before. All the rest before her I was just infatuated with."

Stephanie smiled and slowly nodded. A silence fell between the two for a moment before Steve broke it.

"So, since it's just the two of us, do you want to go back in there and finish the movie together?"

Stephanie smiled, "Sure!"

And the two made their way back into the theater. Stephanie could feel her stomach tie in knots as Steve smiled down at her.

_Get a grip, Steph! Get-a-freaking-grip! _She scolded herself. She couldn't possibly _like-like_ Steve, he was DJ's boyfriend, he was older, he was…absolutely handsome.

Stephanie groaned inwardly at her ridiculous thoughts. She couldn't go down that street, she just couldn't…

* * *

Jesse's heartbeat began to quicken its pace with rhythm as he had just finished searching everywhere in the house for Danny, but couldn't find him. He called for him several times but had gotten no answer. He knew Danny was still in the home because his car was still parked in the garage.

"Daniel, where are you?!" He called once again. He wasn't in the living room, kitchen, neither of the girls' bedrooms, or the bathrooms – _wait_ he hadn't checked any of the bathrooms.

Jesse raced up the stairs and checked the first bathroom. He hesitantly placed his clammy hands on the knob.

"Danny…, are you in there?" He didn't wait for a response as he slowly twisted the knob, opening the door.

Immediately a figure slouched against the tub caught Jesse's eye as recognized the figure to be Danny. He raced to his side and began shaking him frantically.

"Danny! Danny, wake up! Danny!"

Danny's eyes remained closed, then his eyes slowly began to open and as soon as he had taken in his surroundings his eyes had bugged open.

"Jess…Jess what's wrong?"

Jesse breathed out a sigh of relief and pulled Danny in for a hug. Danny's eyes widen in shock.

"Jess, you're hugging me. You _do_ realize that, don't you?"

Jesse let out a chuckle as he pulled away. "I thought something had happened to you, Dan. I couldn't find you anywhere and when I did…the way you looked, it was scary."

Danny watched as Jesse desperately tried to blink away the salty tears that were waiting to fall. Danny gave Jesse a lopsided grin as he patted Jesse on the shoulder. "I'm fine, Jess. Everything's okay. _I'm _okay…"

Jesse smiled and nodded. Danny lifted his hand, beckoning Jesse to help him up from his sitting position. Jesse complied as he brought Danny to his feet and helped him out of the bathroom.

"Don't ever scare me like that, Daniel. You nearly gave me a panic attack!"

* * *

"So how did you like the movie?" Steve asked Stephanie as the two made their way out the theater room in the mix of people.

Stephanie smiled. "It was good, crazy how kids that young could get caught up in such a life…Leonard Dicaprio didn't look half bad either." Stephanie grinned.

"Oh, _you_ like _him_?" Steve scoffed, lifting his eyebrow.

Stephanie shrugged, "Of course. What teenage girl doesn't?" Stephanie quipped, earning a laugh from Steve. She smiled.

"I guess that's true." Steve looked down at Stephanie, "Do you have a ride?"

Stephanie looked around, "Yeah, I came here with Joey. He must still be in theater with Michelle. They went to go see Casper. They should be done any minute now…"

Steve nodded and smiled, "So, uh, I guess I'll see you around?" Stephanie smiled and nodded as she watched Steve slowly back up, making his way out the theater. "Bye, Steph."

Stephanie smiled and waved a little, "Bye, Steve."

Stephanie gnawed on her bottom lip nervously as her heart thumped heavily against her chest. Why was she worked up? It was _just_ Steve. The same guy who spent most of his days feasting off their food every morning. The same guy who had a balloon for a brain, the same guy who was in love with her sister.

Yet, something about him seemed different. Stephanie couldn't put her finger on _what_ exactly it was. Maybe it was the fact that he had matured since the last time Stephanie had seen him or the fact that he had told that Rachel girl off.

Either way, he was changed from the inside out.

Stephanie's mind then wandered over to Rachel's words from earlier.

_'You better watch your back, Tanner. You messed with the wrong one.'_

Stephanie wondered what Rachel meant by that exactly…

"Steph!"

Stephanie quickly whipped her head around, pushing her previous thoughts to the back of her mind as she became face with Joey and Michelle, she smiled.

"Hey Joey, hey Michelle, did you like the movie?"

"Yeah!" Michelle beamed, "I can't wait to get it on VHS!"

Stephanie smiled and looked up at Joey, seeing he was staring at her worriedly the whole time. Almost as if she read his mind, she rolled her eyes in a playful manner. "I'm fine Joey. Everything's fine. I made it on my own in one piece."

Joey smiled, "I know, Steph. I just worry too much sometimes, that's all." Rightfully so considering the circumstances. Stephanie felt chills flow down her spine at the thought of their current situation.

"Do you guys still want to go get some ice cream?" Joey suggested.

"Yes! Joey, please!" Michelle practically begged. Joey smiled down at the beaming girl and turned to Stephanie, "Steph?"

"Sure!" Stephanie smiled as she shrugged and so the trio made their way out the theater and into Joey's car, on their way to the ice cream parlor…


	10. Chapter 7

**_SETTING:_** _Tanner Household_

**_Time:_** _9:10pm_

**_Year:_** _1995_

"You let her see _WHAT?!_" Danny practically screeched in Joey's face, his face as red as a potato. "Joey she's _fifteen-years-old!_ That's an _R _rated movie! With _curse_ words and _profanity_! How could you let her see that Joey?!"

"Dad!" Stephanie butted in, "It's not Joey's fault. He didn't know I was going to see that particular movie."

Danny shook his head, "It doesn't matter, Steph! He's the adult! I can't believe he even let you out of his sight!"

"Dad, I'm _not _a baby! I can take care of myself! I don't need a chaperone with me 24/7!"

"Stephanie your fifteen-years-old! Not twenty-eight years old! You still live under _my_ roof and I expect you live under _my _rules as long as you live under _my _roof!"

"Look Danny," Joey started, but Danny cut him off. "I can't talk to you right now, Joey." Danny turned to his middle daughter. "And you, you're grounded for the next three weeks. No staying over at friends' houses, no using the telephone, and when you come home from school you come straight home. Coming and going. Am I understood?" Danny spoke, his voice stern.

Stephanie unfolded her arms and rolled her eyes, stomping her way up the stairs. "This is so unfair!"

Those words sounded awfully familiar as they escaped Stephanie's lips. Déjà vu suddenly hit her.

_"We've came to a decision," Danny smiled at his eldest daughter._

_"Dad, that is so unfair!"_

_"We haven't even told you anything yet," was Danny's reply._

_DJ smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just a habit." DJ shrugged._

_"We decided you can have your own room."_

_"Oh my goodness! Are you serious? Thank you!" _

_Stephanie sadly watched as her elder sister went to hug and kiss Uncle Jesse, her father, and Joey. Stephanie wondered why DJ seemed a bit reluctant leaning in and kissing Uncle Jesse on the cheek._

_But she was too upset to even wonder what that was all about._

_"I have to go tell Kimmy!" DJ beamed, "It was nice knowin' ya kid." DJ patted Stephanie's head, like a puppy, before racing out gleefully to their annoying neighbor's house, also known as, The Gibbler Residence…_

Stephanie felt a cold shiver flow down her spine at the memory. She remembered how upset, sad, and lonely she felt when DJ was going to get her own room. She felt as if that was DJ's way of getting rid of her or abandoning her.

But now the age DJ was when she practically begged for her own room, Stephanie could now understand DJ's reasoning. I mean, Michelle was great and Stephanie loved her dearly, but Stephanie would be lying if she hadn't been counting down the days when she could finally get her own room.

Hopefully it would have been when DJ graduated and left for college and Stephanie would be able to have her room. But, considering the circumstances, Stephanie wasn't sure she wanted _that_ particular room as much anymore…

* * *

_DJ let out an ear-splitting moan of pain as she felt movement inside her, thrusting in and out with speed and rhythm. She gazed up at the man overhead of her. His piercing, sliver-gray eyes, his coal-black hair swaying in and out of his face, the taunting smile that plastered his features sent nasty chills down her spine._

_"Tell me you love me," he said lowly, his face leaning down to hers, his lips inches from hers. His voice ragged with tiredness and pleasure. "Say it," he demanded this time._

_"I-I love you, Uncle Jesse…" DJ spoke weakly, her eyes glazed as tears leaked from them. Jesse leaned down, once again, inches from her lips. A smirk tugged at his face as he began kissing the tears away, softly and gently. _

_DJ whimpered as she arched her back and glared up at the ceiling aloft her, you would think having this done many times before to her she would have grown somewhat accustomed to the hurt and pain her uncle constantly inflicted on her on more than one occasion. _

_But DJ would never grow accustom to this life she was living, never. She would rather die than know this was going to be her life, for the rest of her life. She made a promise to herself that one day she was going to leave, leave for good and never turn back. Start a new life and forget about this one. She promised herself she'd become a whole other person. A new DJ and leave the old one to rot for all she cared._

_DJ watched as her uncle's eyes glistered with pure ecstasy, his jaw clenched shut. DJ could see a trickle of sweat stream down the side of his gleaming forehead and his charcoal-black hair sticking to his face. His glistening body rocking against hers as the sounds of low grunts and moans escaped their mouths. _

_Suddenly, Jesse's vibrating body abruptly stopped. His chest moving up and down as he hovered over DJ and suddenly DJ felt a warm liquid cross the threshold of her sacred place and immediately Jesse collapsed breathlessly beside her. _

_DJ had felt grungy and sticky afterwards (as she always did) and felt the strong urge to spring up out of her Uncle's bed and hop into the shower and scrub her skin raw. But she knew she couldn't, at least not yet. Since this particular day time was on their side, more than likely her uncle would want to cuddle, slinging his muscular, tan arms around her battered frame. He would run his fingers through her long, dirty blonde locks and hold her close and tell her stories of the times when he was her age or younger and the kind of mischief he would get into. He even talked a little about her mom, which DJ actually enjoyed._

_"You're just as beautiful as your mother when she was your age, Deej. I've lost count as to how many of my friends used to ask me if Pam was single." Jesse shook his head in a reminiscent manner. "Men were prying at her like animals…" _

_DJ stayed silent as Jesse lifted her chin so she was at eye level with him._

_"I've seen the way those boys at your school look at you DJ. It's the same look they used to give your mother... I already know boys are prying at you like animals, waiting for their next meal... But you're not going to love any of them as much as you love your Uncle J, right?" Jesse quirked his thick, arched eyebrow at her, waiting for a response._

_DJ's popping, storm gray eyes gazed up at her uncle with the innocence of a child. She could feel the back of her eye sockets burn as the tears pushed their way through. She gently shook her head, sniffling. "No Uncle Jesse, I'll never love any other man as much as I love you…" DJ wasn't sure exactly why she had said that. Perhaps, it was true?_

_No matter how wicked her Uncle's ways were and how twisted he was, DJ still found love for him in her heart. He was still her uncle. Her flesh and blood. Her cool Uncle J. The one she looked up to as a young girl. His fearlessness and seemingly carefree attitude towards the world, DJ always admired when she was younger and even to this today. Though she loved her father very much, he could be – _no_ was uptight and had certain rigidness to him. DJ figured that was why she admired her cool Uncle J so much; he was the complete opposite of her dad, in some ways good, in others, not so much…_

_DJ watched as what seemed to be, a genuine smile, tug at the sides of Jesse's face. He leaned in and placed a gentle, yet impassioned kiss to her lips and pulled away with a look of desire and longing in his eyes. _

_"I don't know what I'd do without my Donna Jo…" she heard him murmur in her ear as he pulled away and kissed the side of her head and pulled her into his chest. "I really don't. You mean so much to me."_

Jesse desperately tried to blink away the tears that burned his eyes as he tried to focus on the road ahead of him. His heart ached for his niece. He loved her. He truly loved her. He loved her more than an Uncle should love his niece. He was in love with her. Can you believe it? He was in love with his own niece! His own flesh and blood…

Gosh he had missed her like hell. He missed being able to hold her, to touch her, the smell of her hair, he missed everything about her and for the first time, Jesse had felt loneliness in his heart. A pain he had never felt in all his wild years of living, like a hole was in his heart.

He came to a stop at a red light and took this time to rid of the tears that still remained in his glazed eyes.

He'd give anything to take back everything he did to his niece. Everything. She didn't deserve any of it. She was a good girl who was corrupted by her Uncle's wicked and immoral ways. In actuality, he was the reason his niece was dead. He was the reason why she ended her life. She purely just couldn't take the abuse he was putting her through every day of her life. Why she had to lie to the ones she loved on a daily basis. He was the one. He was the one that ultimately drove her to the edge of her sanity. He, Jesse Katsopolis, drove his own flesh and blood, his niece, to kill herself.

Jesse could feel his stomach churn at the thought. How could he have done that? How could he have hurt the most precious person to him? Jesse could feel his heart thump heavily against his chest as a stream of sweat that was marinating on his forehead, streamed down the side of his face. Tears pricked at his eyes. The sound of a car honking loudly behind him is what brought him back to reality.

He pressed on the gas and began back driving. He was on his way to pick up Becky from up the airport; she was flying in tonight around 9:30. Soon after Jesse had gotten released from the hospital, she had gotten a call from one of relatives that her mother was sick. Immediately Becky booked a flight to Valentine, Nebraska. Jesse had convinced her that he would be fine on his own and insisted she go see her mother. She finally complied and gone she went.

Before Jesse even realized it, he was pulling into the airport pick up/drop-off area. He glanced down at his wrist watch which read: 9:20pm. Jesse released a sigh as he glanced around the entrance of the airport, searching for his wife whom was nowhere in sight.

"Excuse me Sir," A middle aged man knocked rudely on Jesse's window, he rolled it down impatiently.

"You're not allowed to park here, this is for pickups and drop-offs only."

The man had a particularly rude attitude that irked Jesse a bit. "I'm not parking, _sir_, I'm waiting for my wife, her plane lands at 9:30." Jesse spat back with attitude.

"Well if she's not here in the next ten minutes I'm going to have to ask you to move your car or to leave."

"Yeah, whatever" Jesse mumbled as he rolled his window back up, ignoring the man's distasteful looks towards him as he strolled away.

Jesse glanced down back at his watch, 9:34. She should have been here by now. Suddenly, a beeping noise vibrated in Jesse's jacket pocket. He furrowed his eyebrows as he dug the device out that the beeping was coming from and narrowed his eyes down at the words that flowed across the screen.

_"Hey Jess, it turns out I'll be gone a little longer than expected. We're taking my mom to the doctor to find out precisely why she's so sick. I might be back in a couple weeks or so, I don't know yet. I'm sorry. Love you and hang in there for me." –Becky Xoxo._

Jesse released a sigh as he ran his fingers through his locks and placed the device back into his jacket pocket and started the car and made his way out of the airport pickups and drop-offs station and onto the main street.

Becky being gone right now was somewhat bittersweet, sweet in the fact that it gave him more time for himself (which he needed) and time with the rest of his family, but also bitter for fact that he'd back to thinking…thinking a lot. Thinking a lot leads to overthinking and overthinking always led to problems.

Jesse gripped onto the steering wheel apprehensively. He hoped these next past weeks would be somewhat serene and conflict free, yet, in the back of his mind, it screamed otherwise...

* * *

"Danny, I –"

"Save it, Joey."

Joey sighed, exasperated. "Danny, I already apologized a million times. I'm sorry, okay? –"

"No it's not okay Joey. I thought I could trust you and depend on you to take care of my kids, especially with everything that's been going on lately. But I guess I'm the only one that's sane around here." Danny grumbled, folding his arms in a poutful manner.

Joey furrowed his eyebrows at his best friend. "Danny do you hear yourself? What's going on with you? I know it's something deeper than me allowing Stephanie to go see an R-rated movie." Joey said. He knew Danny acting this way was out of character for him. It had to be something deeper. He secretly hoped he and Jesse didn't get into it again, even though he gave Jesse a little warning earlier, you never know…

Danny stared stoned face at Joey for a moment before his face shifted a bit as he stressfully ran his hands over his distressed face. "Your right Joey, I'm sorry. You and Jesse have been a huge help since Pam died. I don't know what I'd do without you guys' help." Danny admitted as he took a seat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. "…I was thinking about…DJ. About when she was just a little girl and how she was. She was such a good girl. She hardly ever gave Pam and I trouble…" Tears burned at the back of Danny's eye sockets as he looked down and away from Joey's face. "I just… I just miss her so much. I don't know if I'll be able to get through this…"

Joey stared at his grief-stricken best friend with sympathy filled eyes. He couldn't imagine going through what Danny was currently going through. Losing a wife was hard enough, but losing a child was a whole other story.

Joey patted his hand in a supporting way as he finally pulled Danny in for a hug. "You said the same thing when Pam died, Dan. You'll be able to get through this just like you got through it with her."

Danny shook his head, "But my baby girl…I'll never be able to watch her graduate high school or college, or get married and have kids. All of that's gone, Joey. _Gone!_" Danny wailed as he placed his head in his hands sobbing. "She had so much potential…" Danny trailed, and then continued. "I know she would have made us all proud, I just know it."

"I know Danny, I know…"

Danny snapped. "You can't possibly know what I'm going through, Joey! You haven't lost a kid! You can't possibly understand!"

Joey would have been lying if he said he wasn't hurt by that statement by his best friend. "What do you mean I can't possibly understand? DJ was like a daughter to me! I loved her too! I miss her too, Danny! I loved her too…"

All was silent for a moment as the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the clock. Joey released a sigh as he finally spoke again.

"Danny I know your hurting. When I was little and my parents got a divorce, I stayed with my mom and hardly seen my dad at all. It was like he had died or didn't exist. I know it's not the same as someone dying but…it still hurt." Joey paused for a moment before continuing. "And you still have Stephanie and Michelle. You will still be able to watch them graduate and to be able walk them down the isle and give them away and be there for when they give birth to your grandchildren. You still have all of that to look forward to…"

Danny paused from his pacing and sighed, "But it won't be from DJ. I won't ever be able to experience any of that with her…" Danny shook his head. "It's just not fair, Joey!"

Joey shook his head, lost for words so he just stayed solemnly silent.

Danny stopped his pacing and looked over at Joey, his face softening. "I'm sorry, Joey. I-I don't know why I said all that before. You cared about her just as much as anyone else in this family…" Danny sighed, running his fingers through his hair shakily. "I don't know what's going on with me…"

"Your grieving Danny, that's what's going on. It's normal. You're not alone. You have me, Stephanie, Michelle, Jesse and Becky and so many more that are here to love and support you."

Danny stared at his best friend and a small smile tugged at his features. "Thank you Joey."

Joey frowned, "For what?"

"For being such a phenomenal friend to me for all these years, a _true_ friend and for that I will always respect you for that."

Joey smiled, "Thanks Danny. I've enjoyed being here over the years and helping raise the girls. It means a lot to me too."

The two smiled and brought each other into a brotherly hug. "I love you, Joey."

"I love you, too Danny."

"…Am I interrupting something?"

The two quickly pulled apart and seen Jesse near the front door, removing his coat.

Danny rolled his eyes at Jesse's attempt of a joke. "No. Where's Becky?" Danny's eyebrows quirked with curiosity

Jesse released a heavy sigh as padded down the steps and made his way over to Danny and Joey. "It turns out she may be in Nebraska longer than intended. There taking her mother to the hospital to find out what's wrong with her."

Danny frowned. "Oh, well I hope everything's alright."

"Yeah…" Jesse breathed out. "Well I think I'm going to call it a night for me. It's been a long day…goodnight guys."

"Night, Jesse!" Danny and Joey said simultaneously.

As Jesse made his way up the stairs and down the hall, he stopped when he seen Stephanie and Michelle's room door cracked open. He figured he'd say goodnight to them since he hadn't seen any of them all day.

He lightly knocked on the door. "Steph, Michelle? It's Uncle Jesse…"

"…Come in!" It sounded like Stephanie's voice.

Jesse turned the knob and stepped into the room. It seemed like forever since he had entered into this room. It hadn't changed much from when DJ and Stephanie shared it.

Michelle was already fast asleep in her bed while Stephanie was still up with a book in her hands.

"Hey Uncle Jesse," Stephanie smiled setting her book down and removing her glasses.

"Hey Steph," Jesse said as he went over and sat on the edge of her bed. "I haven't seen you or Michelle all day. Did you have fun with Joey?" Jesse asked, making sure to keep his voice low so Michelle wouldn't wake up.

"Yeah it was actually. I saw Steve there. You remember Steve –DJ's ex-boyfriend?" Stephanie hadn't even thought about that sentence, but it was too late, the words had already escaped passed her lips.

_Boyfriend?_ Jesse pondered. DJ didn't have a boyfriend, she never did. He made sure of that. Jesse furrowed his eyebrows and Stephanie bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "She kept him a secret." She added. "I don't know why though but she did…"

Jesse tried to suppress the slight anger that boiled inside. He clenched his jaw as his fists were clasped together so tight they began to turn white.

"That's nice, Steph." Jesse lied through his teeth. "Well I'm glad you and Michelle had a good time... goodnight Steph." Jesse kissed the side of her head and scurried out of the room. Stephanie sat there, staring after her Uncle in confusion, but eventually just shrugged and went back to her book.

Jesse stocked up the stairs to his attic and slammed the door. He was angry. He was angry, but yet he didn't know why. She was a teenage girl and normal teenage girls were allowed to have boyfriends around her age.

But that was the thing; she wasn't a _normal teenager._ She was far from it. She knew better than to have a boyfriend on the side when he deliberately demanded she did not! He was fuming. If she had one boyfriend, then she had to have had more without his knowledge.

_The little slut!_

Jesse's chest was heaving up and down as he paced his room back and forth. He had to calm down.

_Breathe, Jesse, breathe..._

Finally deciding the best thing to do was to just call it a night and go to bed. Jesse slipped on his pajama pants and plain white t-shirt and slid into bed, pushing away the thought of DJ and the possible boyfriends she could have had to the back of his mind.

* * *

**A/N:**

Thank you all so much for the additional reviews I've received. It means a lot :) and also, to that one reviewer, the reason my story says _Rated T_ is and not _Rated M_ is because when I did rate it _M_ it never showed up in the Full House story forum and no one would be able to see my story unless they were already reading it or stumbled upon it on someone else's page and found this story and I doubt that would happen often. :\ So that's why I put _Rated M_ in the description instead of changing it completely.


	11. Chapter 8

Hello everyone. So I am entirely sorry for the long wait. I had a bad case of writer's block on this story. I just couldn't think of anything! So I did what every writer should do when writer's block occurs– _write!_ So that's just what I did and this is what I came up with. :)

Also, thanks for the additional reviewers who took the time to review. That also motivated me to try and push myself to make another chapter asap. And to that one anonymous reviewer, the reason I chose Jesse is because, well, he sort of fit the bill. No doubt he's extremely attractive and there's something about him that is mysterious that I like. I guess I thought he'd be more likely to do it more so than Joey or anyone else. Using DJ's uncle is just more interesting, I guess. And not only because of that, but the events that take place in this story actually do occur in real life. I seriously cannot stress that enough. I do admit, it's a dark piece, but it's a story that has to be told.

* * *

**_SETTING:_** _Danny's Bedroom_

**_TIME:_** _2:03am_

**_YEAR:_** _1995_

_"Dad, I was not drinking!" DJ stressed as her eyes bored heavily into her father's. The words she had just uttered had him at loss for words. He felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of him._

_"You were not drinking _what?!"_ Danny asked in disbelief at his daughter._

_Before DJ could explain further, Jesse cut her off._

_"Danny, I saw the whole thing! She had a beer in her hand and she was waving it around talking about partying –"_

_"Dad, that's so not true! The other kids were drinking! _I_ was telling them how stupid they looked!" DJ defended._

_"Hey Deej," Joey interjected. "We know how hard it is when the other kids are drinking and they offer you a drink –"_

_"I know drinking is wrong! We already had this talk! That's why I didn't do it! I'm telling you the truth!"_

_Jesse scoffed, "Oh right, like you were telling us the truth about your homework? And you weren't exactly honest about this marching backup band tonight either."_

_DJ was completely incredulous. She couldn't believe Jesse was lying on her like this. He had seen everything that went down and he still accused her of something he knew she'd never do. Did he actually hate her to the point where he'd accuse her of consuming alcohol and the possibility of being grounded for the rest of her life? _

_She knew if Jesse could convince her father and Joey that he seen her drink the beer, her father and Joey and possibly the rest of the Tanner family wouldn't look at her the same. He was trying to damage her reputation. He was trying to ruin her._

_"That was totally different!" she glared at her uncle, then turned to her father with pleading eyes. "You believe me don't you dad?"_

_Danny stared down at his daughter. He wanted to believe her, he really did. But he couldn't ignore the smell of beer that radiated off of her._

_"I'd like to," he said, trying his best to remain stern. "But you do smell like beer, DJ."_

_DJ could almost sense the evil grin that she knew her uncle had on his face. She was losing this battle. _

_"Dad, someone spilled it on me, really!" she desperately tried to convince her father. But she could tell he already had his mind made up. _

_He didn't believe her. He believed the devil himself._

_"DJ, go to your room. I'm going to talk to Jesse then I'll come up and talk to you."_

_She knew her uncle would just fill her father's head up with lies. At this point she felt completely hopeless. She shook her head in disbelief of her father. She couldn't believe he'd take his word over hers. She was his own daughter for Pete's sake!_

_"How could you take his side instead of believing your own daughter!"_

_Those words tugged on Danny's heart as he watched his daughter stalk up the stairs. He secretly began questioning if he should have believed her or not. But he knew Jesse would never accuse DJ or anyone of this unless he actually seen it with his own eyes. And she did smell like beer. He shook his head. He couldn't fathom the thought of his baby girl actually drinking._

_She was only thirteen for Pete's sake! She was entirely too young to even consider drinking. _

_He knew one way or another; he'd get to the bottom of this with the truth and nothing _but_ the truth._

Danny shot up from his bed, breathing heavily as beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. He glanced over at the clock which read: 2:10am. He heaved a sigh as he lay back down in his pillow and attempted to go back to sleep but no such luck.

He threw the covers off of him and slipped on his robe, making his way out of his room and down the kitchen stairs. He rubbed his eyes in a tiredly manner as he cut on the kitchen light and was startled to find Jesse sitting at the kitchen table, wrapped in his robe with a mug in his hand.

His back was towards Danny, but from what Danny could tell, he looked like he was in deep thought.

"Jess…" Danny murmured tiredly as he made his way to the kitchen counter and began fixing himself some tea. He glanced up and seen Jesse didn't budge since he came into the kitchen. It was almost as if he was in a trance.

Danny frowned and sat his mug on the kitchen counter after washing it out and made his way over to Jesse, tentatively placing his hand on Jesse's shoulder who instantly flinched back and quickly whipped his head up at Danny.

Danny quickly removed his hand. "Sorry, Jess, I didn't mean to startle you…are you okay?" He asked in genuine concern.

Jesse's hard expression quickly changed as his shoulders slumped down in relief. "Oh, I'm fine Danny. Thanks. I-I just couldn't sleep."

Danny nodded understandingly. "Me too," he breathed out, returning back to the kitchen counter and proceeding on with his task of making tea. "I just…I really miss her Jess. A lot. Every night I dream about her. Gosh, I don't know how I will be able to move on from this. When Pam died I literally thought my life was over. I wasn't prepared for being a single father, but when you and Joey moved in to help, it made a world a difference." Danny shook his head. "I don't know how I could ever thank you two for helping me like you did."

Jesse felt a twinge of guilt as he gulped and looked off for a moment. "There my nieces, Daniel. I love them. Joey and I both do. We'd practically do anything for them. So when you called us for help, you know we'd be there in a heartbeat."

This made Danny smile in awe. "Thank you, Jess. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that." Danny stirred the tea in his mug and took a sip. "It's hard Jess, I just…I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me again. I just…I don't understand why she would do something like this. I-I thought she was happy, you know? At least she appeared to be…" Danny couldn't help the tears that pricked at his eyes. "Maybe I just wasn't a good enough father to her…"

Seeing Danny beat himself up for DJ's death only worsened the guilt that Jesse was feeling. He wanted so badly to tell him that it wasn't. That it was his fault that she committed suicide and that he had been sexually abusing her for years, practically since the day he moved in…but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He never could. Danny would never forgive him, not that he expected him to.

He knew his life would be over if anyone were to find out the torture he put his eldest niece through. Everyone would hate him. Joey would hate him. Danny would hate him. Stephanie and Michelle definitely would. Becky most likely wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. He'd be alone.

And though he deserved every ounce of that hate, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. He was already feeling a tremendous amount of guilt for being the indirect cause of DJ's death and feeling the wrath of everyone else would just put him at the edge of his sanity and that was the absolute _last_ thing he needed at the moment.

He didn't want to inform Danny of the real reason why he was awake and couldn't sleep.

It had been a few hours after he fell asleep into a dreamless sleep. But what had awakened him was the cold chill he felt that immediately awakened him. He felt his stomach churn and his heart race. For some odd reason he felt like he wasn't alone in the attic, like someone was watching him from afar. His eyes roamed all over the attic but he found no one so he decided to go back to sleep, but right as he was about to, he felt that nasty chill again, this time he peaked one of his eyes open and could have sworn he seen the silhouette of DJ at the edge of his bed, staring down at him.

He quickly shot both eyes open and just as soon as he seen it, the silhouette quickly faded. He rubbed his eyes multiple times, and summing it up for the fact that it was late and that he was just tired and imagining things. But deep down, he knew was he had seen and it frightened him beyond belief.

So finally giving up on trying to fall back asleep, he grabbed his robe and made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee.

His mind kept replaying what he saw, over and over again, he desperately tried to make sense of it, but he couldn't.

He didn't realize how deep in thought he was until he felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched back. Much to his relief it was Danny with a face full of concern.

And now back to the present, he finally looked over at Danny and released a sigh. "Danny how could you say that? You are a great parent. Don't go blaming yourself Danny, it's not healthy."

Danny shook his head, briskly wiping the remaining tears that leaked from his eyes. "I can't help but wonder if what happened is my fault. I mean, if I would have just…"

"Danny, stop." Jesse interjected, "Just stop. You and I both know that is far from the truth. DJ loved you, and she wouldn't want you blaming yourself." Jesse released a sigh. "We might not ever know why she did what she did, but we do know for certain it wasn't because you were a terrible father."

Danny sniffled and nodded, taking in Jesse's words. He slowly nodded and gave a halfhearted smile. "Thanks Jess. Thanks a lot."

Jesse nodded solemnly. "No problem, Danny. It's the truth."

They conversed for a couple more moments before mutually deciding to try and get some more sleep.

Though Jesse was still spooked about what happened earlier and rather reluctant to go back to bed, he figured more sleep would most likely be for the best.

After he said his goodnight to Danny, he made his way back up to the attic and tentatively took a step in and hurriedly made his way over to the bed and sunk in under the covers and forced himself to sleep.

Surprisingly, it worked…

* * *

_"I can't believe, Teddy." Michelle whined as tears streamed down her crimson colored cheeks. She never knew of heartbreak or what it was exactly. But she did hear DJ and Stephanie repeat it on numerous occasions and that it wasn't a good thing. _

_If she could sum up one word of how she was feeling at that moment, it was heartbroken. Her chest heaved up and down as she lay on her stomach, face in her pillow wailing her eyes out. She didn't even realize someone come into the room, not that she cared to know at the moment._

_All she could think about was Teddy and wonder why he didn't want to go steady with her anymore._

_"Michelle…" a soft voice called her name, she didn't bother to see who it was, for she had already recognized the voice._

_"Go away!" Michelle shrieked, keeping her face smashed into the pillow._

_The worried expression didn't leave her expression as she rubbed Michelle's back gently. "Please tell me what's wrong, Michelle. You know you can talk to me about anything…"_

_This rung true to Michelle as she thought of the many times her eldest sister had helped her out before. She sniffled as she sat up and turned to her older sister, tears still streaming down her pasty face. "I-I think I'm going through h-heartbreak." Michelle stammered._

_DJ formed a lopsided smile at her younger sister's choice of words and gently wiped away some of the tears that leaked from her bloodshot eyes. "Oh really?" DJ arched her eyebrow at her sister. "What happened…"_

_Michelle sniffled as her eyes stayed casted down on the fabric that resided on her bed. "It's Teddy…he-he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend anymore…"_

_DJ stroked some strands of hair behind Michelle's ear. "I'm so sorry, Michelle…"_

_"He-He said that being boyfriend and girlfriend took too much work and that he liked it better when we were best friends…"_

_Michelle continued, "All I asked him to do was to bring me some flowers, hold my hand and do all of the things boyfriend and girlfriends do."_

_"Awe, Michelle" DJ moved to sit on her bed, next to her. "You and Teddy are only nine. You guys are way too young to be doing what you see boyfriend and girlfriends doing." DJ released a sigh as she ran her fingers through Michelle's blonde locks. "I'm sure Teddy just misses having you as his best friend, Michelle and I'm sure you do too."_

_Michelle sniffled as she finally stared up at DJ, and then slowly nodding, wiping her eyes. "I do like Teddy a lot. I don't know why I started acting that way. I guess I thought I was supposed to."_

_DJ smiled down at her as she went and got the phone and sat it in front of her. "Call him. I'm sure he will be more than willing to be your best friend again." _

_Michelle smiled up at DJ and nodded. She dialed the familiar numbers on the telephone, but before she pressed the 'call' button, she looked up at her elder sister making her way out of the room. "DJ…"_

_DJ turned around and smiled. "Yes, Michelle?"_

_"Thanks…"_

_DJ nodded and flapped her hand at her. "You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what, I'll always love you."_

_Michelle felt her heart flutter at the response. "I love you too, DJ." And with that, Michelle proceeded with her call to Teddy._

Michelle tossed and turned in her sleep and finally her big round eyes finally shot up. She sat up in her bed and looked around. She was glad to see Stephanie peacefully sleeping on the other end of the room. She didn't know why but she felt like she wanted to cry. All she wanted at that moment was to be held.

She threw the thick covers off her small body and made her way to Stephanie's bedside, shaking her lightly. "Steph…Steph wake up…"

Stephanie moaned, "Steve…"

Michelle frowned and continued to shake her, "No, it's me, Michelle…"

Stephanie stirred in her sleep as her eyes finally flutter open. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up in her bed.

"Michelle, what's wrong?" Stephanie uttered tiredly.

"I-I had a dream about DJ…"

Stephanie's eyes boggled open as if that was enough explanation for her. She opened her blankets and in crawled Michelle.

Stephanie opened her mouth, hesitant, but asked anyway. "Um, what was your dream about?"

Michelle buried herself under the covers and sniffled. "It was that time Teddy and I became boyfriend and girlfriend because of that dance that was coming up. He didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore. I cried so much, but DJ helped me through it." Michelle paused for a moment. "I miss her, Steph. I miss her a lot."

Stephanie felt a slight tightness in her chest as she swallowed hardly. "I know, Michelle. We all do…"

There was a silence that fell between them. The two stared up at the ceiling above them, until Michelle broke the silence.

"Do you think she's in a better place?"

Stephanie turned to face Michelle and a soft smile crossed her face. "I think so…"

Michelle simply smiled and closed her eyes, Stephanie followed suit. But before she could completely fall back to sleep, Michelle spoke again.

"Steph, can I ask you something?"

Stephanie turned to her once again and shrugged. "Ask away…"

"Why did you call me Steve when I was trying to wake you up?"

Stephanie's face flushed with embarrassment as she bit down on her lip and turned away from Michelle. She couldn't possibly tell a nine-year-old of the kind of dream she had of a certain boy, particularly _Steve_.

She scrambled for an explanation. "I-I was having a dream about a guy and his name was Steve. That's why I called you that name…sorry."

Michelle shrugged. "No worries, just asking…"

Michelle closed her eyes again and Stephanie hoped this time would be for good. She continued to stare at the ceiling, thinking about the dream she just had about Steve. She couldn't believe her psyche could conjure up such a thing.

The sight of Steve shirtless and climbing on top of her awaiting bod continued to play through in her mind…but she couldn't help but feel a tad guilty for thinking and dreaming such things about her sister's EX. But she couldn't help it.

She closed her eyes. It wasn't like she was physically with him, just in her dreams and that's the way Stephanie planned to keep it…


	12. Chapter 9

*In Joey Russo's voice*_ WHOA!_ How long has it been? So, so, so, so sorry guys. I had major writer's block again, yuck. But good news is that I have an exceptionally long chapter here for you guys! But I must warn you though, it's a bit wordy. And by the time you get to the end I still had more to write, but I decided to write the other chunk in chapter 10 (or chapter 13 if you consider the prologues as chapters). :P

Also, I wanted to thank those who left additional reviews telling me they wanted me to update. You don't know how much motivation that gave me, really. And to that one reviewer, thanks so much! KITTY was the anonymous username I believe. Any who, your tips were extremely helpful and I tried to apply some of what you said to this chapter as much as I could.

* * *

**_SETTING:_** _Tanner Kitchen_

**_TIME:_** _7:03am_

**_YEAR:_** _1995_

"Danny, are you sure you're ready to go back to work? You know the station did say you could take as long as you need. There's no need to rush." Joey said, following Danny into the kitchen in a worried tone. He didn't understand why Danny was heading back to work so soon just a week after DJ's burial and a mere three weeks since the news of her passing. Joey knew Danny was not in the right state of mind and that going back to work was a rather irrational decision to be making at the moment.

"_Yes_ Joey, for the _umpteenth_ time, I'm _sure_ I want to go back. I realized that staying home with nothing to do has been anything _but_ beneficial to me this past week." Danny sighed, slightly shaking his head. "Going back to work will…take my mind off a few things, keep me busy enough not to think so much." Danny slipped on his jacket and grabbed a hold of his brief case and gave Joey a wry smile. "Thanks for the concern, Joey, but I think this is for the best…" Danny didn't wait for Joey's response for he was already out the door.

Joey released a sigh. He hoped this sudden urge to go back to work would be the best for Danny. But deep down, Joey knew it was a way to avoid the reality that his daughter was gone. He knew Danny was still in the state of mind he was when he found out the news of DJ and that worried Joey.

But he wanted to give his best friend the benefit of the doubt. Joey figured if going back to work so soon was his way to cope with everything that was going on than it was more power to him. It was better than him going out and doing something outrageous or harmful to himself. Anything was better than that.

"Morning, Joey" Stephanie said coolly as she made her way down the stairs with Michelle not too far behind.

Joey smiled at the sight of them; they seemed to be holding up okay. "Morning, girls! I made you guys' favorites –chocolate chip pancakes and blueberry waffles!"

Stephanie frowned. "Uh, thanks Joey, but no thanks. I'm not that hungry this morning. I think I'll just have an apple or something." Stephanie shrugged carelessly.

Joey frowned. "Steph, you haven't eaten a full breakfast for the past few days…are you sure you don't want any?"

Stephanie nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. Thanks anyways, Joey." And with that, she briskly grabbed an apple and slung her backpack over her shoulder and was out the door.

Joey still wore that same frown. Maybe he had spoken too soon.

"I'll take the blueberry waffles, Joey."

Joey smiled in awe as he went and sat the plate in front of Michelle. She smiled gratefully and began chowing down on the food like she hadn't eaten in days.

He could understand why. It had been several weeks since any Tanner has actually sat down and had a nice breakfast at the table like they used to.

In fact, Joey couldn't recall the last time they actually did that, possibly a month ago, he couldn't remember and quite frankly, that was sad…

"Thanks, Joey! They were delicious!" Michelle replied springing up out of her chair, breaking Joey from his thoughts. He hadn't realized how fast Michelle had finished her breakfast. It had to be in record time.

"Have a good day at school Michelle." Joey said as he kissed the youngest Tanner girl on her forehead and watched her depart cheerfully.

He was glad Michelle was still well in her spirits. It was refreshing. Perhaps, it was because she was just a little too young to fully comprehend the concept of death. He frowned, thinking of the day when it was going to finally register for Michelle that her elder sister was never coming back.

She will most definitely be crushed and he wasn't sure he wanted to be there to see it…

* * *

_Salty tears leaked from DJ Tanner's eyes as she lay unclothed and buried under thick covers with her uncle's arm slumped across her bare frame, snoring lightly._

_Her eyes dreadfully wandered around the all too familiar room __–the attic. She hated this attic. Not only did it give her the creeps but it was the room that her Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky shared. It felt wrong. It always felt wrong to her but for some reason DJ always felt worse when her uncle would bring her up to he and Becky's domain and have his way with her on their bed, where he sleeps with her every night._

_This particular time, DJ felt sick to her stomach. She had missed her prom. Her senior prom. The last high school dance she'd ever be attending. She didn't go all because of Jesse, good ol' Uncle Jesse and his jealous and possessive ways. He didn't want her to go; he wanted her all to himself tonight._

_Though he didn't admit it, she knew the real reason he didn't want her go was because she would have the chance to mingle with other guys besides him and he couldn't handle that. So he waited just hours before dropping the news on her that she wasn't going to go to her prom._

_She tried to convince him and stress how much she wanted to go and how she had already bought her dress and was planning to attend with Kimmy, but he didn't seem to care the least bit._

_He told her she didn't have a choice and to go to her father and tell him that she didn't want to go. She cried her eyes out, literally. Then finally after she somewhat got herself together, she went and informed her father that she didn't have interest in going to her prom this year._

_DJ could tell he was taken aback by the news providing that she had been yapping about going to her senior prom since her freshman year. He was shocked a bit apprehensive, but he finally accepted and respected her decision. _

_The worst part was when she had to call up Steve and make up some lame excuse as to why she couldn't go. He was devastated and practically begged for her to change her mind. At that, she felt a pain in her heart as she stated that not going was her final decision and that she was sorry for wasting his time and waiting until hours before the prom to tell him she was not going._

_Her heart literally broke when he told her he was the one who was sorry and then hung up. She shed a few tears, silently wondering what she did to deserve a life like the one she had._

_Did she stomp on someone's grave in another life, and she was paying for it now. She had no idea. But she knew once she graduated and went off to Stanford. All her problems would disappear and she'd be able to get away from the wicked clutch of her uncle._

_And here she was, the night of her prom, where she should be having the time of her life, celebrating her last year of high school and getting into Stanford with her fellow peers and friends. But here she was, all alone, in the arms of the person who was the source to all her pain and suffering… her uncle. Precisely the way he wanted it…_

_"Deej…" she heard him murmur as he stirred in his sleep. A tired smile tugged at the sides of his face as he kissed the side of her head and pulled her closer. "I love you…" he whispered in her ear, soothingly._

_DJ could feel his fingers creep briskly down her abdomen to her sacred area. _

_DJ's eyes flutter shut as she bit down on her lip, fighting a moan desperate to escape. _

_It was something about the way his lips caressed each part of her skin and the way his fingers danced around in her sacred area, sent a reluctant sensation through her bod. _

_Her chest heaved up and down as he seemed to be going in a circular motion with his fingers. _

_"Don't hold back," he murmured in her ear. "Let it out…"_

_DJ finally fluttered her eyes open and gazed over at him, his eyes filled with lust. She finally released a loud moan as she felt his fingers pick up the pace in its rhythm. _

_She could feel the moistness building up as he went faster and faster. She wanted to tell him to stop, but the feeling he was giving her was too overpowering for her to even speak._

_She finally let out a breath of relief as she closed her eyes, desperately trying to catch her breath. She could see the sly grin spread across his face as he gently removed his fingers from inside her and brought them to his mouth._

_She watched as he licked and sucked her juices from his fingers like it was the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. Her heart pounded against her chest as he lips connected with hers sloppily making her taste her own juices. _

_She hated how he was making her feel. A feeling she had never felt before. It was a foreign, yet euphoric feeling. _

_As his body hovered over hers, he leaned down to the side of her face. "I know you want this as much as I do…" he whispered in a husky voice that sent chills down her spine. "N-No…" she managed to mutter out as he began placing kissing down her neck. "No…" she repeated as she felt him nibble on her sweet spot, she fluttered her eyes closed. "N-No Uncle Jesse…no." she tried to withhold the moan that inevitability escaped passed her lips. _

_She mentally kicked herself for it._

_She wanted to slap the smug smile he had on his face right off, but she couldn't. She was frozen, like she was under his spell and she hated it. She wished so badly that she was with Steve, at their prom. She wondered what he was doing. Even though they had broken up, they agreed to go as friends, but now that was down the drain and the thought of that brought tears to her eyes._

_She hadn't realized Jesse had her in a straddling position on top of him, his hands placed on her hips as he forced her hips to move up and down on his leaky hose. _

_The sudden contact made her wince. She grabbed a hold of his arms as he flipped her over and kept going faster and faster. She desperately tried to resist and combat with him, but like the many other times, it was no use. He was too strong._

_He held her down as he continued to invade her temple once more. She continued to shed salty tears, wishing the night would be over…_

"Jess…Jess are you there?"

Jesse blinked as he stared off into space at nothing in particular. The sound of little kids from afar swinging on swings and laughing their childish giggles is what brought Jesse back to reality. He took in his surroundings and realized his routine walk with Comet had led him to the park where he often took the girls when they were young.

A bark from Comet and the sound of Becky's voice made him flinch. "Uh, yeah, yeah I'm here Becks. What were you saying, honey?"

Jesse mentally cursed at himself for allowing himself to zone out like that. It seemed to be happening more frequently, as if having his dreams consumed by her wasn't enough.

He led Comet to a nearby bench and sat down and watched as Comet settled down by his feet.

"Jess, are you sure you're alright? I know a lot has been going on the past couple of weeks and I know me being gone isn't helping the situation –"

"Becky, I told you I'm fine. Yes, the timing couldn't have been more off, but that's life. I'll be fine. Stay with your mother for as long as you feel the need to. I completely understand – really."

Jesse could hear the sigh on the other line. "Jess, I – are you sure?"

Jesse smiled weakly. "I'm positive."

"Oh Jess, you don't know how good it feels to hear you say that because my mom, she–she isn't doing so well."

Jesse could sense the stress in her voice. "What is it, Becky?"

There was a pause on the other line as Becky struggled to find the words. "Jess, the doctors say she…the doctors say she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease! Connie says she's been really moody lately and forgets the simplest things, like where the television remote is when she's holding it or her reading glasses when she's wearing them. It's scary Jess and her doctors say it's only going to get worse as time progresses. She's not going to even remember who I am or who Connie is!" Becky then burst into tears over the phone.

Jesse was speechless and could only imagine what Becky was feeling. Losing a parent was hard. He couldn't imagine losing either of his parents, especially to something as severe as Alzheimer's. "Oh Becky, I'm so sorry…" he spoke into his cellular sincerely.

It took just about forty-five minutes for Jesse to finally calm Becky down. Once they finally said their, I love you's and goodbyes, Jesse released a heavy sigh.

It didn't sound like Becky was coming home anytime soon. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about it. But he knew she had to be with her mother and he would do nothing but support her. That's all he could really do at this point.

"Come on Comet, time to go." He said as he arose from the bench and stretched, slightly tugging on Comet's leash.

He received a whimper from Comet as the dog reluctantly rose to his feet and followed his owner.

* * *

"Steph, Stephanie! Stephanie, wait!"

Stephanie peered over the crowd of students in the hallway as she searched for the one calling her name. She was shocked to see who it was as she made her way through the crowd, casually pushing people to the side.

"Gia?" Stephanie spoke, lifting her eyebrows.

Gia smiled nervously as she padded her Minnie skirt and tank top down and tucked a piece of brunette hair behind her ear, "Hey, Steph. I, um, I know it's been a while since we talked. I meant to call you sooner but, I wasn't sure."

Stephanie stayed silent as she listened intently. Gia continued. "I, um, I heard about what happened to your sister. I wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am Steph, for everything that happened between us. I'm sorry for being such a witch and a bad friend. I shouldn't have let that Ryan guy come between us. After hearing about what happened to your sister, it made me realize that life is short and if you're lucky enough to find good people in your lifetime, you have to cherish them." Gia paused, "I'm sorry, Steph. This time, I sincerely mean it."

Stephanie stared into the sincere hazel eyes of Gia Mahan and realized she truly was sorry. She had to admit, she missed having her around. Especially with everything going on, she really needed a friend she could trust.

She knew she and Gia's relationship wouldn't be back to the same way it was before and that she couldn't immediately fully trust her yet, it would take time to build back the trust that was broken.

But she knew Gia was right. Life was short and when you are blessed enough to find great people in life, you have to cherish them. Tomorrow isn't promised for anyone. It was time to let bygones be bygones.

Stephanie smiled weakly. "I forgive you, Gia."

Stephanie watched as Gia's face lit up with genuine happiness. "What?"

"I said I forgive you, Gia. Your right, life is short, too short to be holding onto a grudge against someone for something that happened last year. It's time to live and let live, so with that being said, I forgive you."

Gia looked astonished as she covered her mouth and smiled happily. "Oh, Steph! I missed you so much!" Gia ran and engulfed Stephanie with a hug. Stephanie smiled and returned the hug. "I missed you too, Gia. But there's one thing I have to set straight before we become friends again." Stephanie pulled away from the hug, looking Gia straight in the eye.

As Gia's eyes gazed into hers, Stephanie could see they held confusion and slight fear.

Stephanie cleared her throat. "I want you to know that our friendship will never be the same or the way it used to be and that my trust in you as of now is broken and it's going to take time for me to completely trust you again. Things are not going to be immediately back to the way it used to be."

Gia frowned and looked ashamed, but nodded solemnly. "I understand Steph. I deserve it. I'm just grateful to have my friendship back with you. I truly missed you Steph. You're my best friend and when I heard about your sister, I felt awful. I wanted to call you up so badly, but I didn't want to make things worse so I didn't." She shook her head shamefully. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to let a guy come between us." Gia sighed. "I really am sorry Steph. If it makes you feel any better, he ended up cheating on me and he put his hands on me…" Gia blurted shamefully.

"What!" Stephanie exclaimed loudly. "He did _what?!_"

"Shh, Steph." Gia hushed her as she glanced around at the passing students in the hallway. "Come with me."

Before Stephanie could respond, she was being dragged by Gia down the halls of Bayview High School and into the girl's bathroom away from the prying eyes and perked up ears. She watched as she checked underneath and in every stall. When she seen that it was just her and Stephanie, she finally faced Stephanie and released a heavy sigh.

"It had been a couple weeks after you found out about him and me. We had gotten into a heated argument about me accusing him of cheating. I told him that a couple days prior I had caught him flirting and making out with the school slut, Heather Sinclair and he actually denied it and called me a stalking, clingy bitch and that I needed to get a life. I told him to stop acting like a bitch and just own up to the fact that he was cheating and that's when…"

Stephanie watched as she paused. She looked like she was about to cry. She sniffled and slowly looked up. "That's when he, you know…slapped me."

Stephanie was completely baffled, she was actually speechless. Gia continued...

"He-He immediately apologized afterwards. He said that he had just had a horrible day at school and work and that he was under tremendous stress from his parents pressuring him about getting a wrestling scholarship. At the time, I believed him so I stayed with him…"

"Oh, Gia…"

Gia sniffled again. "I stayed with him almost throughout the whole summer before our sophomore year, the hitting never stopped. I was just too damn scared to leave him…that's until one night he…he had called me up and told me to come over. I told him I couldn't and that it was too late and I'd get in major trouble with my mom. But he didn't care. He threatened if I didn't come then the next time he'd see me he'd beat me and this time he wouldn't stop. So I snuck out and walked to his house..."

Stephanie gasped, "In the middle of the night?! Gia, do you know how dangerous that is?!"

Gia shook her head sadly. "I was more scared of what would happen to me if I didn't go, Steph." She sighed. "When I got there he immediately pushed me against the wall and started kissing me roughly and trying to take my clothes off –"

"Oh gosh...Gia please don't tell me he…"

Gia shook her head. "No, he didn't. But he almost did. I told him that I wasn't ready. He got angry and started slapping me around, accusing me of sleeping with other guys and that if they were going to get some from me then he was going to as well." Gia swallowed hardly. "He threw me on the floor and attempted to get on top of me but I ended up drop-kicking him in the nuts and was able to get away thankfully…"

Stephanie had to pick her jaw up from the ground as she blinked several times, slowly letting everything Gia had said to her register. "S-So is that why you were absent that whole week…"

Gia slowly nodded as her eyes were now bloodshot. "Gia, my goodness I had no idea…" Stephanie pulled Gia in a bear hug and as Gia hugged back, she slowly broke down in her arms.

"Don't be sorry for me, Steph. I deserved this. I betrayed you. I cheated with your boyfriend. This serves me right, dammit!"

"Gia, stop it! You didn't deserve this! No deserves to go through what you went through. Ryan was the jackass who didn't deserve either of us."

Gia just continued to sob in her shoulder. Stephanie sighed, stroking her thick, brunette locks. It was silence as a couple of girls came in; they regarded her and Gia with looks of confusion and curiosity.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Her boyfriend just broke up with her, nothing to see here." Stephanie said as she shooed them away with annoyance.

Stephanie heard them whisper something inaudible as they left the bathroom. She figured they were a bunch of girls who had no lives of their own and were going to spread the word of what they saw in the girls' bathroom and put their own twist to it.

"Thanks," Gia spoke softly as she lifted up from Stephanie's shoulder. She sniffled multiple times as she desperately wiped her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. Stephanie handed her a tissue and watched as she hopelessly tried reapplying her smeared makeup.

"For what," Stephanie replied furrowing her eyebrows.

Gia sniffled again as she carefully reapplied her liner to her bottom lashes, she then turned to Stephanie. "For being such an amazing friend to me even though I have been nothing but the complete opposite."

Stephanie sighed. "Gia, please stop beating yourself up over this. People make mistakes. Even the best of friends make mistakes and they forgive each other. It's what friends do."

Gia sighed in frustration. "It's just…I feel so guilty and can't help but feel like I got my just desserts. You didn't deserve to get hurt like that."

"And you didn't deserve to be hit by that jerk, okay? I have forgiven you already, G. Why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself?"

Gia stared down and remained silent, all was to be heard was the shuffling of Gia putting her makeup back in her pouch and into her backpack. She turned to Stephanie and gulped.

"Because the same thing that I did to you, someone had done to me…"

Stephanie eyes widen. "What?"

She sighed. "It was in the eighth grade, I had a friend, a best friend actually. Her name was Shelby Miller. We had known each other since diapers. We both had single mothers so that made us extremely close. We were the of best friends… like sisters actually..."

Gia continued. "There was this guy, his name was Travis… I remember I liked him so much. He had curly, thick black hair that fell in his eyes which were a gorgeous shade of green. He had the most adorable dimples. I remember how much I used to talk about him to Shelby…I knew at times she would get annoyed with me talking about the same guy over and over again that I never had the courage to ask out. But finally, one day she told me she had a friend who had a class with him and asked me if I had wanted that friend to talk to him for me. I immediately agreed with excitement. I was even more excited when she told me he liked me too and that he wanted me to meet him behind the bleachers of the football field after school that day. I was extremely excited and it seemed like that day took forever to end. Then finally, school was over and I made my way to the football field and over behind the bleachers…I can still recall how hurt, betrayed, and angry I felt to see my best friend having sex with the one boy my life revolved around. He was all I thought about, day and night and she knew that. But there she was, screwing him right in front of me, purposely." Gia shook her head in a reminiscent manner. "I never spoke to her from that point on and she's never spoken to me either. I ended up moving and never seeing her again. I never forgot what she did to me though…I never did…"

Stephanie was further shocked. "Oh my goodness…I'm-I'm so sorry Gia."

Gia shook her head in disapproval. "That's why it's so hard for me to get over what I did to you, because I know how it felt and always told myself I'd never do to another what was done to me and yet I did it anyway."

Stephanie pursed her lips and made her way to Gia and placed her hand on her shoulder. "You're not Shelby, Gia and you will never be her. You know why?"

Gia gazed over at Stephanie with an innocence of a child. "Why?"

"Because Gia, you did something she never did. You apologized. You were truthful about genuinely being sorry. You realized your mistake and was willing to put yourself out there to make things right and that's why I forgave you, Gia. You're my best friend and I love you, okay?"

Gia cracked a weak smile through her light tears. She and Stephanie embraced tightly.

"Thanks, Steph. I love you too."

The two finally got themselves together, but realized they had missed a whole period and decided to just skip for the rest of the day. Stephanie knew she'd most likely be in trouble when she got home, but for this one time, it actually seemed worth it…

* * *

**A/N****:**

In case you all didn't know, Ryan is the guy who stood Stephanie up on episode 22, season 8: "All Stood Up" played by Andrew Keegan. (㈴5) I chose him because, well, I thought he'd be good for the role and it would just make sense. Plus, I think he was the hottest love interest Stephanie had on the show. Also, in case you all didn't know who Connie was when Becky was talking to Jesse, it's her sister Connie. The one who had the son named Howie. I'm not 100% sure if that was her name or not but that's what it says from the sources I looked at. If anyone knows for sure what exactly Becky's sister's name was, by all means, let me know. :)


	13. Chapter 10

Happy New Years!

_**SETTING:**_ _Grace Cathedral Cemetery_

_**TIME:**_ _11:30am_

_**YEAR:**_ _1995_

Jesse's eyes glistened with tears as he stared down at the tombstone before him that read: _"Donna Jo Margaret Tanner, (June 2, 1978 – May 30, 1995): a beloved daughter, sister, niece, and friend. Though she was only seventeen years of age, her graceful spirts touched those closest to her with joy, laughter, and happiness. May she rest in peace, be always remembered, and forever in our hearts."_

His eyes never tore away from the tombstone as he kneeled down and ran his fingers over the thick tile and traced DJ's name.

"Oh, Deej…" He finally spoke through his now hoarse voice. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…this-this wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to end up here…" Salty tears leaked from his eyes uncontrollably. "My sweet niece," Jesse chocked out as his head rested on the tombstone. "You were such a good girl, like your mother…" He shook his head. "You didn't deserve this." He continued on. "You had her sweet spirit, the kind of smile that would light up a room – Pam had the same effect." He let out a low, reminiscent chuckle. "You reminded me so much of her when she was your age." He paused a moment, swallowing the enlarged lump in his throat. "S-She would have been proud of you..."

He closed his eyes tightly as more tears squeezed from his eyes. "Deej…I-I know I hurt you. I know I hurt you like no other and am the sole reason why you ended your own life." He let out a humorless laugh. "And for that, I will never forgive myself. I'll never forgive myself for inflicting so much pain and heartache on you. I-I-Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, DJ! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, gosh dammit! It's my entire fault! Everything, dammit, I know it is…" His body slumped against the tombstone as he let the tears flow freely. His chest heaved up and down as he opened his mouth, hesitant, but speaks anyway. "I-I know I didn't show it, but I did love you, DJ. I loved you so much… I still love you, even if you hated me…"

The cool morning breeze that caressed his skin brought a serene feel over his body, he felt the tension in his muscles slowly release as he stared up at the slow moving clouds.

He began to think back to the years before he moved in to help Danny and the girls…how his life was prior to that. There was only one word that could describe his life before: _Wild_.

He put the 'w' in wild. All he could remember was the long nights of partying, hangovers, and waking up the next day with a random jump off and repeat the whole thing over again the next day.

His mind then wandered over to his sister, Pam. She was always the favorite; he remembered thinking as a young boy. She hardly got in any trouble with their mother and father, and even if she did it wouldn't have mattered. She was always the golden child – the one who was going to make something of herself in life and was going to succeed.

If Jesse were to be honest with himself, he couldn't say he wasn't the slightest jealous of his elder sister. Though he loved her with everything in him and if anyone were to harm her, he would surely take care of them in more ways than one. He always admired, (and at the same time, envied) the kind of determination she had, like no one was going stop her or get in the way of whatever she wanted or was going to achieve.

Everything always seemed to come easy for her whether it was her grades, taking tests, getting her driver's license, or getting married right after college at the tender age of twenty-three to some guy she had met during her freshmen year of college and had been dating consistently throughout her four years of college who was majoring in radio and TV broadcasting.

Jesse remembered vaguely the mention of Pam's boyfriend who went by the name of Danny Tanner. Jesse remembered meeting him one time when Pam came home for Thanksgiving break. To Jesse, he seemed like a stickler and a perfectionist and also slight OCD – the complete opposite of Jesse. But Pam seemed happy and their parents seemed to take a liking towards Danny.

It turned out he purposed to Pam at the beginning of their senior year in college. To Jesse's surprise, their parents weren't too happy about that. They felt Pam was entirely too young for marriage and that it was going to get in the way of finishing her last year of College.

Pam ended up postponing it until the day after their college graduation. Their parents still weren't completely happy about the idea of their only daughter getting married at the age of twenty-three, but remained content with the idea of her postponing at least until after college.

All of their parent's ill feelings towards the marriage seemed to almost dissolve into thin air once the wedding had taken place.

Jesse could remember the look in his sister's eyes as she floated down the aisle, with her arm linked around dad. He is smiling over at his only daughter adoringly. A sparkle in her eyes as she met Danny at the altar, the same sparkle in his eyes. Jesse could just as easily as everyone else see that his sister and Danny were in love.

He was happy for his sister, truly happy…but at the same time – envious. This was just another event on her list to make her life all the more perfect. It wasn't enough to graduate from one of the top universities in California, but to get married to a seemingly perfect guy with nothing as much as a speeding ticket on his record. It all the more highlighted what a perfect daughter she was and was destined to be and what a disappointment of a son he was.

He didn't make nearly the same grades as Pam did in high school. She had a perfect grade point average while he was barely passing all of his classes with a D+. And though his parents never made him feel like he needed to live up to his older sister's accomplishments, he knew, behind the closed doors of their bedroom, that they wondered how he turned out so different from Pam.

He eventually ended up dropping out and working as an exterminator for his father's business and (on the side) pursuing his lifelong dream of becoming a musician which his father didn't appreciate nor agree with at all.

While Pam was living a happy life with Danny, Jesse was out, almost every night, partying, drinking, smoking, and every other bad thing you could think a young boy in his golden years with zero responsibilities was doing.

It wasn't long before Pam announced that she was pregnant and that she and Danny weren't planning on finding out until the big day.

He remembered feeling a mixture of emotions. He was going to be an uncle at the age of fifteen – fifteen for crying out loud! He barely knew how to take care of himself, how in the _hell_ was he was going to be able to look out for his niece or nephew?

When the big day finally arrived, he could see the happiness in his sister's and Danny's eyes. It was a girl. He was having a niece. They named her Donna Jo Tanner. He remembered holding her small petite body in his arms for the very first time. It was magical. She was beautiful. She looked a lot Pam and as she had gotten to the toddler years, she had taken on her mother's curly, golden blonde locks that fell down to her waist side. She was a very beautiful girl with her big, storm gray eyes that seemed to glisten with happiness whenever she saw her cool uncle Jesse which was rarely.

Not long after, it was announced that Pam was pregnant again and it ended up being another girl. He remembered the call he received at "work" informing him that Pam have given birth and they named her Stephanie Judith Tanner.

After arriving at the hospital several hours later, he remembered looking in the nursery through the thick glass window, his eyes searching; finally he eyes meet a baby girl, with thick, inky black hair. He remembers smiling; secretly hoping this niece takes on more of his dark features.

He was disappointed later on when, similar to DJ, her hair lightened to almost a dirty blonde color and eventually stays that way.

He was only eighteen at the time with two nieces. He had gotten a few gigs at small clubs, but wasn't enough to make it on his own, so he still worked for his father for the next few years – when Pam announced her third pregnancy.

By this time, he was at the tender age of twenty-three, nearing twenty-four. At this point, he remembered being at the prime of his partying and constant wild and dangerously living, so much to the point he missed his own nieces birth.

He never regretted anything more than missing that eventful day in his sister's life. He remembered after that, the partying had slowed down a bit.

He remember staring down into the big, baby blue eyes of his third niece, she looked a lot like Pam as a baby as well, if Jesse could recall the baby pictures correctly. Pam had the same shaped eyes, same colored hair, and the same sweet smile.

Jesse never really gave kids much thought, it's not that he disliked them, but if he had a choice he preferred to be without them. But his nieces – his nieces he loved more than he thought he ever could.

He would literally _destroy_ anything and anyone who would deliver any harm to his three angelic nieces.

He loved and cherished them dearly. It would always bring rush of joy to his heart to see the look on his sister's face every time she laid eyes on her three girls, a mother's endless love for her children. She was happy. She was truly happy; Jesse could see it in her eyes. The same twinkle that danced across her eyes whenever they were on Danny.

He was happy for his sister, he truly was. He deep down, desired a life of love and happiness such as his elder sister and often wondered if he'd ever obtain it.

It had only been six months after birthing baby Michelle, that he received the infamous phone call that flipped his world upside down.

He could recall eerie feeling of that day. He remembered how hung over he was from the excessive partying he had engaged in the night before, which wasn't unusual for him.

That particular day, despite the lukewarm, sunny weather, was overcast. Puffy, white clouds flooded the sky. The early morning's atmosphere lingered a certain melancholy feeling that did anything but motivate Jesse out of bed and to work.

He remembered hearing the phone ring, which he, at first, ignored, figuring it was his father, inquiring as to why he had not shown up to work yet.

It was only on the third and fourth ring that he rolled his limp body out of bed, eyes half open, reaching for the receiver.

_"Hello?" He remembered answering, even though he had a pretty good inkling to who it was._

_"Jesse, something's wrong." His father immediately said in a shaky voice. But having just woken up, Jesse failed to realize the somberness in his father's voice._

_"Dad, I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling good so I decided to stay home. I'll be back at work first thing tomorrow, okay?"_

_"Jess, no, I'm not calling about work. It's-It's about your sister."_

_Jesse now wide awake immediately could tell something was wrong by his father's voice, which was oddly grave and almost unrecognizable. "What is it? Dad what's wrong?" He asked quickly._

_"Pamela, she's gotten into a car accident –"_

_"What," He exclaimed loudly. "What do you mean a car accident? Is she okay?" He asked quickly again, juggling his receiver between his shoulder and chin as he hurriedly slipped on his clothes from the night before, given they were the closest._

_"W-We don't know yet, Jesse. We are at the hospital, me, your mother, Danny. The girls are still in school, thank God." _

_Jesse was now fully dressed, slipping on his boots with quickness, his hands slightly shaking. "What hospital are you all at?"_

_Jesse immediately dropped the phone after receiving the address to the hospital they were at. He grabbed his coat and keys, and practically raced to the hospital, ignoring the constant honking of the horns in the process._

He could remember the rapid thud of his heartbeat the closer he got to the hospital, constant thoughts of his sister and if she was okay invaded in his mind, as he weaved through slow moving cars, hurriedly, he desperately began pushing back all the worst case scenarios that came to mind.

As he pulled up to the hospital, he quickly raced inside, reluctantly stopping at the front desk.

_"Pamela Tanner. I'm here for Pamela Tanner, is she okay? What room is she?" He inquired breathlessly._

_"Sir, are you family or a friend –"_

_"I'm her damn brother for goodness sake! What room is she?" He exclaimed, frustrated. _

_Couldn't this lady see this was an emergency and that he needed to get to sister as soon as possible?_

_Hearing the familiar voice of his son, Nick arose from the waiting area and spotted Jesse shouting at the lady at the front desk. He quickly rushed over to his son, overhearing the young woman._

_"Sir if you don't calm down I will have to call security."_

_"No ma'am that won't be necessary." Nick Katsopolis interjected as he practically dragged a reluctant Jesse away from the lady at the front desk and over to the rest of family in the waiting area._

_Irene immediately arose to her feet, throwing her arms around her son as she sobbed. "Oh Jesse, thank God you're okay!"_

_"Ma I'm here," Jesse said, wrapping his arms around his sobbing mother. His eyes surveyed the area where Danny and a couple of other close family members resided. Danny had looked like he was in a trance, and his father had a look of solemnness his face. There was a certain feeling of melancholy in the air that Jesse could pick up the minute he stepped foot in the hospital._

_His mother finally pulled away, tears streaming down her pale cheeks, which bothered Jesse to see his mother this way. A look he's never seen on her. "Ma, is Pam okay? Is she alright? Please tell me she's okay."_

_"We don't know yet, son." His father answered instead, holding onto his sobbing wife. "They said the accident was pretty bad."_

_Jesse slowly nodded. "Where are the girls?"_

_"They are still in school, thank God."_

_The wait seemed like forever and a day, Jesse remembered. Everyone was silent – a deathly silent. The only sound that could be heard was the muffled sobs of his mother that he hated to hear with a passion. _

_Finally, the doctor came out asking for a Pamela Tanner. Everyone immediately arose, it seemed to doctor only wanted to talk to Danny since he was her husband, but told the doctor it was okay for everyone to hear, because everyone that was there loved and cared for his wife just as much as he did._

_And that was when the doctor uttered to the two words we all had dreaded._

_"I'm sorry to be the one to inform you of this but, she didn't make it. There was a lot of internal bleeding and head trauma, she died instantly –"_

_Once those words were said, there was a loud, piercing scream that echoed throughout the hospital. It had come from his mother. She sunk down to the floor with Nick holding onto her tightly as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. But he refused to let his feelings lay bare. He had to be strong for his wife, his son, his family._

_Jesse remembered feeling the wind had been knocked out of him. All of a sudden, it felt like there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. Without giving it much thought, he raced out of the hospital and onto his motorcycle, ignoring his mother and father's call for him to come back. He revved up his cycle and skidded off._

_He hadn't known where he was going exactly, but he knew he had to get away from there. He needed to breathe, to escape reality for a moment. To somehow register the fact that his sister was dead – no longer living, the one he's always secretly looked up to, no matter how much he denied so, the one who always tried to keep him out of trouble and always looked out for was gone, forever._

_He couldn't understand why this happened. Pam – if there was such thing as perfect, she'd be pretty close to it. She had such a sweet spirit, so loving and caring to others. Jesse could feel his heart pound heavily against his chest as he sped through the traffic, passing cars from left to right. _

_The cool, breezy air that slammed against his skin as he rode off brought the certain feeling of tranquility to his rapidly beating heart. As he swerved past cars, ignoring the honks and horns, he pulls off to the side of the road and hops off his motorcycle. Conveniently enough, he happened to stop by a nearby beach._

_As he placed his helmet down on the seat of his cycle, he took a few strides and there he was, gazing out onto ocean. His breath caught in his throat as he lazily plopped down on the sand as tears pricked at the corner of his eyes._

"She didn't make it,"

"There was a lot of internal bleeding and head trauma,"

"She died instantly…"

_He could hear the ear piercing screams of Bloody Mary that came from his mother as she fell to the floor immediately in a fit of hysterical tears. He had never seen his mother that way before. In so much pain, so helpless, so vulnerable. He rarely seen his mother cry growing up. The only time he could recall was the day Pam had went off to college. Her baby girl was leaving – her first born and on Pam's wedding day. The other time was when he got into that motorcycle accident when he first started riding at the age of seventeen. Thankfully he had only minor bruises and scars. The most serious was his broken ankle which wasn't much compared to what could have happened. But that didn't stop the tears from falling from his mother's eyes._

_But nothing could compare to this. She was gone. His only sister whom, despite his own issues towards her, loved with everything in him. She didn't deserve to die. She was a good person. She was the one who always managed to keep him out of trouble, who kept him in check. He didn't know where he would be if it wasn't for her always checking in on him and never giving up on him, even when he had given up on himself. _

_She was gone._

_He would never be able to see her shining, steel blue eyes. Her bright smile that always seemed to cheer him up, even on his worst days, she kept him motivated. That maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to still make something of himself, even if the odds were against him. She believed not only believed in him, but she made him believe in himself._

_She was there for him, even if he didn't deserve it – which he didn't._

_She was gone._

_There was no way he'd be able to bring her back. To stop her from getting inside that car for whatever reason. To prevent the accident. To be able to protect her…_

_He no longer held back the loud sob that escaped his lips. He had never felt this kind of pain before. It was bad. Worse than any other pain he's ever felt in his life. Worse than his first heartbreak, worse than his motorcycle accident and even worse than feeling like a disappointment to his parents. It was emotional as well as physical pain. _

_Tears blurred his vision as he peered out onto the ocean, watching as the waves continuously crash against the shore._

_He wasn't sure how long he had been there for, and he didn't necessarily care how long. He needed to be alone. Away from his painful reality that he desperately wished was nothing but a dream. He knew he should probably phone his parents, informing them that he was alright and that he hadn't gone and done anything crazy…yet. And to ease the anxiety he knew his mother and father were feeling. They had already lost one child; they shouldn't have to worry about losing another._

_But at that moment, he didn't care. He was feeling too selfish right now to think of anyone else but himself. _

_He ached for DJ, Stephanie, and now Michelle, who would not be able to remember her mother, for Michelle was too young to even remember what her mother looked like._

_His nieces would no longer have a mother in their life. They would have to grow up without the special love of their mother – something he couldn't imagine growing up without._

_His mind then wondered over to Danny, he left before he could see his reaction, but he didn't have to see it to know what his brother-in-law was feeling at the moment. Though Danny wasn't his favorite person, he did love his sister and proved it every day by the smile that always seemed present on his sister's face whenever he would see her. She was happy. Danny made her happy and she did the same for him._

_They had three beautiful daughters together that he loved very much. He wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt them. He'd kill before he'd let someone lay as much as a finger on them. He would protect them. He would protect them the way he wasn't able to for his sister. He'd be there for them whenever they needed him. He'd be the uncle he knew his sister would be proud of…_

Jesse's now bloodshot eyes poured even more tears as he blinked. If only he had stuck to that promise. He wouldn't be where he was now – at his niece's grave. Pam would have been so angry with him. She would've hated him, he knew it. He killed her daughter, his niece. He was the indirect cause of her death and he would have to live with that guilt for the rest of his days on earth.

That thought alone shook him to the core.

He somehow lifted his limp body from leaning against DJ's tombstone. The sound of his cellular going off is what brought him back to reality. Glancing down at his watch his eyes widen slightly. It was almost time to pick Stephanie up from school already! He had been there for a total of two hours!

As he shuffled to his feet, he took one last look down at his dead niece's tombstone with regretful eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he managed to choke out before rubbing his eyes and padding his way back to the car with a barking Comet in the passenger's seat. Jesse figured the Golden Retriever was most likely hungry considering the fact that he was sitting in the backseat of his car for a little over an hour...


End file.
